...I obviously am never gonna get it here.

I'm a senior level professional and *this* is what my professional life amounts to!??!  So glad I’ve achieved such relevance.  I came into work this morning to be greeted with this email.

Let’s get one thing straight. I  don’t work for you.  You don’t get to *instruct* me to do anything.  And I’m so glad you make your instructions so vague.

I didn’t send that.  Don’t panic.  I really wanted to.  But in my old age, I know better.

I really shouldn’t be calling this “Part 2” since I have visited more than 2 of the coffee shops on the passport (See Part 1). But I don’t blog all of them because some (re: most) of them are uneventful. Or maybe it’s because I’m just not awake yet when I haul my sorry ass into the coffee place so it’s not in my capacity to recall enough about the encounter to blog about it. Or I’m just lazy. Three options. You pick.

Since the last day for the Indie Coffee Passport program is fast approaching (March 31) I have stepped up my efforts a bit to try and hit all the stops. I had to stop for a couple weeks though because I was just too busy to go out of my way to make these deliberate stops, but I submitted my last paper for my night class yesterday so I should be good to go from now until the end of the month. GO ME!

After five hours and two large cups of blueberry tea at Second Cup last evening, manically finishing my paper, I thought it would be fitting this morning to get up a little earlier and stop at Manic Coffee on my way to work. Say what you want about big bad chains, but I *love* the blueberry tea at Second Cup (Dear Starbucks, All your tea sucks. You got rid of the only tea worth drinking – the white berry one, so now I don’t come see you for tea.), it’s close to my house and they have free wifi – imperative for working on my paper.

Anyways… I digress.

The detour added 15 minutes to my 25-minute commute, but I will immediately admit that it was worth it. Clover coffee isn’t widely available, but they have it here. And that’s what I used my passport to redeem. The last time I got a Clover here, I got sick. It’s not because it was bad…it was because the person had recommended a bean that was too acidic for me. Note to self: Never get the beans from Peru. Today, I was smart. I got the Guatemalan. It was very good – and a whole lot LESS acidic. 

For those new to Clover coffee, here’s the short version of the story. Once upon a time, there was a Seattle-based coffee company called Clover Equipment Company. It basically tries to make drip coffee as sexy as the hipster latté. Then, along came Howard Shultz (CEO of Starbucks), who tried it, LOVED it, and (like any other self-respecting rich man) bought it – the whole company. Hence, welcome to the era of Starbucks Clover. Now, I haven’t tried Clover at Starbucks yet since there’s only 1 Starbucks in Toronto that has the machine, but I will. Eventually. Maybe after I’m finished stamping my Indie Coffee Passport.

Sorry about that. Yet another little detour from my originally story.

So, to get to Manic Coffee, I have to pass through Bathurst Station – what is probably the BEST smelling subway station in the entire city. I know how insane that sounds…especially since subway stations around the world generally don’t smell too pleasant. No matter what time of year it is, the middle level of Bathurst station smells INCREDIBLE thanks to the wonderful people at Bakery on The Go. It takes ALL of my will power to be able to walk by them without going in there. I thought I was so unbelievably strong willed today as I emerged onto the streetcar platform empty handed. This strong will, however, did not last long.

When I opened the doors to Manic Coffee, I was completely enveloped by the glorious smell of fresh pastries. I likely will never become a full-time vegan. Giving up butter would be as bad as cutting off my left arm – i.e. I don’t use it as much as my right, but I’d still like to have it.

 
source:  http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_MYRNDMf_IWo/
TBg8wXW7_DI/AAAAAAAAGRg/
Rc3cmwl_EbY/s1600/Whipped_Herb_Butter.jpg

I tried not to think about the smell, and for a second I didn’t. What’s great about ordering a Clover coffee is once they grind the beans, they bring it over to you so you can take a sniff before they brew – just like how a waiter is supposed to let you sniff, swirl, sniff and slurp your wine before actually serving it to everyone. For that moment, I was filled the soothing, mellow aroma of fresh ground coffee.

source:  http://www.medicalinsider.com/
images/relaxed_kitten.jpg

The thing with taking a whiff of coffee though is it cleanses out your olfactory palette. So now, the pastries were completely irresistible…and I caved. Out the door, I departed with a large Clover coffee in hand, a stamp on my Indie Coffee Passport AND a wild blueberry scone in my bag.

The coffee was so good, I didn’t get mad at the ridiculousness of silly people on the streetcar. I was incredibly amused that one of the guys on the streetcar decided to loudly exclaim after the “Please move back announcement” that the announcement applies to everyone. “I don’t know why some people think that ‘everybody, please move back’ doesn’t include them. It’s for everyone. That means you, and you, and you too. Don’t pretend like you don’t speak English. Don’t stare out the window like you can’t hear me.”

Of course someone replied, “It’s because they don’t want to hear you.” It sorta worked because people did move down. But I don’t know how long it lasted since my ride on that streetcar wasn’t that long.

So… in summary. The Clover coffee at Manic Coffee was definitely worth getting up a little earlier and adding the extra 15 minutes to my commute. I’ll do it again before March 31st since I have a second Indie Coffee Passport to get stamped. I really do hope that they renew the program in September. I promise to be more diligent in my use of the passport instead of trying to collect all the stamps in the last three months. If you’re so inclined or would also like to participate, please contact Indie Coffee Passport by email info@indiecoffeepassport.com or by Twitter at @indiecoffeepass.

Hopefully, I’ll post a Part 3 soon. In the meantime…

source:  http://blog.fitnesstown.ca/wp-content/
uploads/2010/01/coffee_morning.jpg

So apparently, today was the NHL trade deadline.  I’ll admit it… I had to check Wikipedia to make sure that the name is not misleading and that it does in fact mean that after today, teams are not allowed to trade players until the end of the season.  I have no problem admitting that because not being a general manager of an NHL hockey means…

I DON’T HAVE TO CARE!

Before you all lambaste me for not caring about my team, let’s run down a couple of little things.

• Do I know all the facts surrounding these deals?
  No.  I do not.  Nor will I ever.  So, why would I bitch and moan about what a general manager is doing?  Fans scream “get this guy… trade away that guy…”.  You know what…MAYBE HE TRIED BUT HE CAN’T!  Or maybe he was able to get a better deal.  Or maybe he read your tweet and said, “I was going to do that, but there’s no F’ing way I’m gonna do that now, cuz heaven forbid I do anything to make THAT tweeter happy.”  You know nothing about the chatter... so your comments/opinions/rants are based on nothing and hence... INVALID.

• Would I be able to make a better deal?
  Well, if you take a look at the answer to the above question, you’d realize that there’s no way to answer *this* question.
• Regardless of whether great, good, mediocre, or crap players are acquired/traded, is it going to change the fact that I love my team?

  Go ahead.  Think long and hard about this one.  Take your time.

  If you answer “No” then you hit the nail right on the head.  Yup… that’s right.  My undying love for the Habs really is unrelated to who suits up for them (but I would be pretty disgusted if they picked up players like Matt Cooke, Chris Pronger, or Sean Avery).

So to recap.  I don’t know if this is the best/worst deal that the GM could’ve made.  I don’t know that I could’ve done better.  And regardless of the outcome…

I am NOT changing teams.

I know, most sports fans like to speculate, and fantasize about who they could get on their team…who they could unload… and I understand that.  That's also why fantasy hockey is so popular.  But personally, I am sick to death of reading fights between tweeters over something which neither will have ANY impact.  And to top it off, if the GM dares to do something that neither of them suggested, they won’t even have the pleasure of saying “I told you so.”  Their argument will be moot.

I’m not saying that people should be like me and not care.  Everyone’s free to care or not care about whatever they want.  But after two weeks of all this pointless bickering, I just had to vent.  That said, feel free to continue bickering if you so wish. 

Please, just STOP ASKING ME FOR MY OPINION AND/OR TO PICK A SIDE!!

I don’t care enough about these trades to (dis)agree with you, your life partner, your offspring, your buddy, or your dog.

What does this trade deadline mean to me?

Not a damned thing.

GO HABS GO!!

source: http://a57.foxnews.com/static
/managed/img/fn-latino/entertainment/
397/224/cristina%20aguilera%20super%20bowl.jpg

It’s been a few days now since Christina Aguilera committed the biggest blunder she possibly could have with the words of love, pride and adoration for the land of the free and home of the brave. It might be old news by now, particularly with the 24-hour news cycle, but I wanted to weigh in (and I’ve been a bit busy).

I’m not surprised Sarah Palin said if she was President, she’d have Christina deported. Hey, Sarah! Deported where? Staten Island? Because that’s where Xtina was born…so unless Staten Island is considered a foreign country… gawd, there’s really no end to Sarah Palin, is there?

Anyways, I’m not surprised that it’s been a feeding frenzy out there for comedians and late night television personalities (because this is their bread and butter). Even I tweeted about it (yes, I was harsh).  But honestly, I think the messed up line isn’t really as big a deal as her rendition of the entire song.

I’ve listened to a few [re: MANY!!!] recordings of the Star Spangled Banner by popular American recording artists and I think the ones that feel the need to embellish every single line of the song actually do it a considerable disservice. The Star Spangled Banner is a very patriotic and heartfelt song. And although it’ll never mean to me what O Canada means, I can say that it’s a song that can very much stand alone on the strength of its basic melody and lyrics. There isn’t really a need to go nuts and embellish every single stanza. It’s like taking a beautiful, black, Audrey Hepburn dress and covering every single inch of fabric with flashing LEDs. YOU’RE RUINING IT!!!

source: http://allysoninwonderland.typepad.com/.a/
6a0120a7c5f0a1970b0134802fc0bb970c-800wi

Yes, recording artists are going to kick it up a notch with fanfare and tremolos, but why are people so shocked she messed up the words? She had so many new notes to contend with. Christina definitely has an amazing set of pipes and no one could ever objectively say otherwise (even if you hate her music). But between her and Rosanne Barr, I think I could do without hearing celebrities singing the Star Spangled Banner.

I know I’m not the first to voice this opinion, and I won’t be the last. But I just wanted to put my opinion out there (you know...in case anyone cared what a Canadian thought about the great American National Anthem debacle of Super Bowl 45).

It’s not like O Canada has never been over-dressed by recording artists. But to be fair, despite what people say about the Opening Ceremony of the 2010 Olympics… I thought Nikki did a FINE job.

source:  http://www.zimbio.com/pictures/hCSY9y0_AcR/
Olympics+Opening+Ceremony/Q_8pP3Q3VZ-/Nikki+Yanofsky

It wasn’t *that* jazzy (as some of the critics complained). Besides, it could’ve been given to Avril Lavigne (who participated in the Closing Ceremony) and given a Sk8tr Boi flair. Now, THAT would’ve been a travesty.

source:  http://images.dailyfill.com/9ccc1716d8a0497
d_a6e76f49041c831f/o/avril-lavigne-olympics-vanc.jpg

scroll down for the cannoli update

In September, I purchased a couple of indie coffee passports in an effort to support independent coffee shops and give myself an excuse to do a little exploring.  I've been kinda delinquent in using it, but seeing as how March 31, 2011 to finish it, I started to step it up. 

Out of the 24 shops, I've only visited 3 with my pass (I know... I'm terrible).  So today, during my lunch break, I trekked out to one of the ones close to the office to get a coffee.

I was going to go to Moonbean since it's the closest, but then I saw a streetcar so I hopped on and headed down to The Green Grind.  While on the streetcar I noticed that a whole bunch of independent coffee shops had sprouted out, so I made a mental note to check them out after I had finished collecting all the stamps in my passport.

Just before my stop, I noticed Riviera Bakery.  I decided it would be a good place to pick up some lunch to take back to the office.  I went in and seemed alright.  Small place.  Few tables.  Clean.  Bustling.  I queued up and was enticed by the pastry case while waiting. 

source:  http://www.blogto.com/listings/cafes/upload/2008/01/20080128_rivierabakery.jpg

Finally, it was my turn.  I didn't feel like getting a slice of pizza so I asked what kind of sandwiches they had.  The Italian lady behind the counter was anything but friendly, but told me my options were tuna, salami, or prosciutto.  Of course, I got the prosciutto.  I also order six cannoli (which I will have to tell you about later because I'm not digging into a cannoli while I'm here at the office).  What kinda stunned me was the whopping $22 total...but if you think about it... $6 sandwich, $2.75 cannoli x 6... it's about right.  I just forgot that these weren't mini-cannoli which are usually ~$1.25.

(Side note:  I just read some reviews on Yelp and looks like the grumpy, scary ladies behind the counter is a consistent theme.  )

Next stop, The Green Grind.  I got a large, non-fat, extra hot mochaccino.  First things first... it's not extra hot.   It was ok... but seriously... if I say extra hot, I mean hotter than usual.  Usual is supposed to be hotter than lukewarm.  So if the coffee you give me is only kinda hot... I'll leave you to infer the rest.  I will give you this, though... the espresso was not a bad pull.  Lucky for the barista this is not my first coffee of the day.  Otherwise I would've been VERY ANGRY!  Afternoon coffee, I'm less demanding.  I won't be super perky (who are we kidding... I'm never super perky), but at least I won't be .

Back to the prosciutto sandwich.

The only thing I don't like is the bread.  It's a hard cibatta bread.  I only like them if they're grilled.  But since I was getting it to go, the mean old Italian lady didn't offer to grill it.  And she was pretty scary so I didn't ask.  I guess I should work on my assertiveness.

But aside from the bread, this sandwich is fabulous.  The prosciutto is excellent.  It's not tough.  It's very flavourful and it doesn't get stuck in my teeth.  I wish they had put more than 3 slices in.  The provolone is good, but what stand out the most is just how fresh and crisp the vegetables are.  Fresh, crisp Boston lettuce leaves and a couple of tomatoes really make a huge difference in this sandwich.  Did I mention that I love prosciutto?

Anyways... all I've got is my sucky iPhone camera, so this will have to do.

The sandwich was worth the trip.  The coffee was alright.  I'll have to update you later on the cannoli.  Hopefully those will be awesome as describe in the various reviews I've seen.

UPDATE!  Cannoli Review

So I didn't actually wait until I got home.  At 3:48 pm I couldn't take it anymore and I opened the box and pulled out a cannoli.  The box was sitting on my desk and it just smelled so good I couldn't wait.  When I opened the box, my office smelt like HEAVEN!!!

I would've posted my review right away, but unfortunately, I was too... disappointed. 

Yup... I was disappointed by the cannoli.  Now, first off, I don't really like candied fruit.  So that might be why I wasn't crazy about the cannoli.  But I will try not to be too candied-fruit-discriminatory as I talk about the rest of the cannoli.

The biggest issue was the pastry.  It was too... uhm... deep-fried-ish?  It was like those deep-fried egg roll wrappers drenched in honey that you get at Chinese buffets.  It wasn't at all like the cannolis that I *LOVE* from Ferrara in New York City (yes, come Easter, I will be at Ferrara stuffing my face with mini cannolis.  You paying attention, RW??).

I am happy to report though that the filling was just the right balance of citrus and cheese...BUT... it was a little too sweet.  And I'm not gonna mention the candied fruit wrecking the smoothness.  Oh wait... oops.  There were also chocolate bits in the filling.  I don't normally oppose chocolate of any type in any place, but seriously... this did upset the smooth, creamy texture of the ricotta.

Anyways... maybe I'm being too harsh or unfair, but I don't mess around with my food.

At least now I have one more reason to look forward to NYC. Oh, Ferrara, how I miss thee!

It’s rant-y. It’s rambling. It’s long. You’ve been warned.

It’s not responsible to be unethical. It’s not responsible to turn a blind eye when you see others being unethical or immoral. But it’s so easy for people to be irresponsible, especially in the latter situation.

Some days, I really wish I didn’t care. I wish I didn’t care that people are rude. I wish I didn’t care that people are mean. I wish I didn’t care that people are selfish. I wish I didn’t care that people are inconsiderate. And sometimes, I succeed in not caring for a few minutes. But in terms of days, I always fail. I can only image how liberating it would feel to not give a shit about anything or anyone and just do whatever the hell I want. There was a Being Erica episode on this though…in fact, more than one episode.

For a long time, I thought everyone care about the environment. Why? Because I surround myself with people who have the same interests, same level of education, and have a lot of the same views. I thought everyone cared about animal welfare because all my friends are animal lovers. And even those that aren’t animal lovers agree that animals should not be treated like objects. I thought everyone cared about the greater good – that a little bit of personal sacrifice is acceptable if it means things will be better for more people

Dear Human Race,

Thank you for proving to me, daily, that I am wrong. Really. I like that humbling experience of being shown just how wrong I am to believe in the goodness of people. It keeps me grounded and prevents me from having these lofty ideas that good people make a difference in the world. Sometimes I can be so stupid. Thanks, for keeping it real.

xoxo,
cokeaddict.

I depress my mother regularly with my views on the human race. What can I say? I’m just not as optimistic as my EQi says I am. I honestly believe that the human race will end up destroying itself. And when Mother Nature is free of our meddling, the planet will find balance again and breathe more easily. Unless of course we’re so damned effective and push the planet past the point of no return. I can totally see us doing that. We’re just *THAT* good.

It's not just about animal welfare. And it's not just about the environment. It's true, these are the two issues that are most dear to me, but my disdain for humanity is not solely from these two issues. Someone on Twitter gave me flack for caring more about dogs (in relation to the Michael Vick story) than about pedophiles. I wasn't talking about victimized children. First, I was talking about the slaughter of 100 sled dogs in BC.  Then in a separate tweet (along with a link to the appropriate news article) expressed my disapproval of Obama giving accolades to the NFL in their "forgiveness" of Michael Vick for his felony. I lost some respect for Obama the day that happened. It's not because I don't believe in giving ex-cons a chance to re-integrate into society. But because this was again another illustration of the pathetic laws for protecting the welfare of animals. He sat in jail 1 year for the things he did. That's nothing. If he enslaved people instead of dogs (i.e. violated the human trafficking law) you think he'd be sitting sweet and pretty for a year? No way. Think ~10 years.  And if he was a pedophile, he wouldn't be considered rehabilitated when he got out and allowed near children.  He'd be barred from being around children likely for the rest of his life.

The tweeter's reaction was to say to me "I think pedophiles shouldn't be allowed to have kids. That's more of a problem than Michael Vick owning a dog. In my eyes." You know what? That's not related. Of course it's an awful crime. I never said it wasn't. But just because Michael Vick committed a different crime doesn't mean I shouldn't say anything. Killing someone as a drunk driver isn't worse than planned murder. It doesn't mean we don't get to criticize a drunk driver because they didn't plot to kill that person. Raping a child is (in most people's minds) worse than raping a woman. So you saying that there's nothing to comment on if a man rapes a woman but something to talk about if he rapes a child? THESE EVENTS ARE NOT MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE!

You don't have to be a dog lover to see that the sled dog slaughter and the Michael Vick dog fighting rings are terrible things. You don't have to be a tree hugger to see that pollution is a horrible thing. You don't have to be a social activist for human rights to see that slavery, rape, and oppression are things that should be stopped. But by not being a dog lover, or tree hugger, or social activist for human rights, it's so easy to just not care. And THAT, encompasses most of humanity.

I can’t even describe my level of disgust with the people who could do such a thing. When I read about the “cull” in Baghdad I was disgusted. But that was a matter of strays and feral dogs in a war zone. I’m not saying it’s okay, but I can see how such a brutal option could be viewed as a “solution.”

But in “Beautiful British Columbia”? WHAT?!?!

WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!

100 sled dogs slaughtered when BC tourism slumped

This was business – a business decision, to kill the “employees” because the business was wrong about the demand projections. Yup… Iz gotz the bizness talk down, yo. So what would typically result in layoffs with humans, resulted in a “cull” because the employees were dogs.

source:  http://tag.menumill.com/assets/0002/8069/IMG_6665.jpg
Yes, the photos I've used are from the Outdoor Adventures Whistler website.

Finding homes for dogs of that size is not easy. But it’s not impossible. There is NO EXCUSE anyone could possibly give for the ruthless and inhumane destruction of such smart and beautiful animals...

...THAT WERE BOUGHT TO PULL HUMANS AROUND
ON A SLED FOR THEIR ENTERTAINMENT!!!
YOU SACKS OF
WORTHLESS SCUM!!!!!

*breathe* *breathe* *breathe*

Sorry about that. I’m a little bit distressed.

I know the RCMP said they need to gather more evidence before they can lay charges, but the company has not denied doing it so I don’t feel like *I* need to wait for more to express my opinon.

RCMP to assist in dog cull investigation

This isn’t about being a dog lover. It’s not even about being an animal lover. It’s about being moral and responsible with your conduct when handling other living creatures. An error in a business decision was made. Finding homes for these dogs would have taken some time and effort. But humane associations would be willing to help. There are tons of organizations out there that would have helped with the relocation of these dogs – despite the fact that sled dogs aren’t the easiest to get placed into new homes. There are countless options that could’ve been used instead of slaughtering the dogs (I don’t use the word "euthanize" because this was NOT euthanasia!).

source:   http://tag.menumill.com/assets/0002/8125/STAGING.JPG

I’m sick of people doing such irresponsible things to animals and the environment because it’s a threat to their business. Maybe if they hadn’t made such projections on the expected increase in tourism after the Olympics, they wouldn’t have had “too many” dogs to begin with. Maybe if they had been okay with potentially having to turn some customers away because “all the dogs were booked” they wouldn’t have ended up being in position where they didn’t have enough customers and had 100 dogs in excess of their demand.

And before people start whining about them being unable to pay employees who would need to support their families, remember that it’s not the fault of the dogs that created the company's money crunch. The business should’ve taken the hit. If they go under, you won’t get any sympathy from me because it was a result of a BAD BUSINESS DECISION! Making an unethical, immoral one to get out of it does not at all exempt them from the fact that they made a bad business decision.

source:   http://tag.menumill.com/assets/0002/8083/DSC_4549.jpg

I will NEVER give even ONE CENT of my money to any one affiliated with Outdoor Adventures Whistler, The Adventure Group.

Taken from their media kit

The largest kennel in North America & Whistler’s original dogsled operator
leeanne@tagwhistler.com

The Adventure Group — February 10, 2010

The stunning Soo Valley, just north of Whistler, is home to over 300 Alaskan Racing Huskies and with over 63 years of experience (in dog years that is…), The Adventure Group are Whistler’s original dogsled operators with the largest kennel in North America.

Get ready to experience the most unique backcountry journey of a lifetime, when you step onto a traditional dog sled behind your team of energetic and loveable Alaskan Racing Huskies. Mush your own team, or have a professional guide lead the way and be ready for an unforgettable journey and a thrilling introduction to this classic Canadian sport.

A professional dog sled musher will teach you the basics of driving your own sled where you will learn straightforward commands and the simple sled?handling techniques. You'll get a thrill like no other as you head out into the pristine Soo Valley. While on the trail, a professional guide will be nearby at all times, or you can ride with a guide.

They should add in this line. This way, we have full disclosure.

“And if we don’t get enough customers for dog sledding, we shoot our dogs. It’s our way of keeping costs low so that we can offer you such competitive rates.”

These cowards have since removed all their contact info from their website.  But I got it from a cached version of their site, thanks to Google.

Today has totally been one of those days.  I got some news in the middle of the day that distressed me.  So much for de-stressing at my yoga class.  At least the most trying part of it is over. I know that the world doesn’t revolve around me (all the time ) and I’m not the person in the forefront of everyone’s mind (all the time ) – but I honestly thought he would’ve at least told me before running off [Clarification point:  I am NOT referring to the Ex].

source: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_UojKS2KOlq4/ RuqLUxNHxII/AAAAAAAAAMc/ xA2nxTYkTzE/s400/YogaSunset.jpg

source: http://farm4.static.flickr.com/ 3664/3346983281_2fd791552b.jpg

Maybe it’s not my right to get upset.  After all… it’s not like he’s obligated to tell me anything.  But even a simple FYI as a courtesy?  Would that have been too much to ask?  I didn’t realize that I was so unimportant that I would get nothing at all.  In fact, I only found out by accident because someone who knew what was happening felt that I should know.  And that person didn’t even tell me directly, even though he was fully in the know.  He just cryptically and discretely alluded to it so that I would know enough to inquire.  I haven’t inquired… yet.  I don’t know if I should.  Mostly because I don’t know if everything was just all in my own head.  Maybe it only matter to me.

You know…you’d think after all these years, I’d be used to this by now.  But I’m not.  And it hurts.  And it still sucks, large.  I’m not depressed.  But I’m definitely disappointed.

source:  http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3197/3064088848_2a4b8faf48_b.jpg

Disappointed that I wasn’t told.

Disappointed that I thought I was important enough to be told.

Disappointed that I cared.

And disappointed in my reaction (why does this even matter?).

Girls can be so damned emo. Even heartless ones like me.  Sometimes, I'm my own biggest disappointment.  Gawd, I need a drink.

source:  http://sydfish.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/martini_time.jpg

This is a long, rambling, whine. Consider yourself forewarned.

A long, long time ago, in what feels like was another lifetime, I was in a serious relationship. No, I wasn't married. When I say "long, long time ago", I mean when I was in university. It was very much still a puppy-love kind of relationship even thought we both thought it was very serious at the time.  However, in objective and honest hindsight, I can see that neither of us were really grown up enough to be talking the kind of ridiculous shit we were talking about (marriage, kids, etc...). We probably wasted a lot of our time yakking about that crap. Anyways... fast forward a few years later. The relationship ended and after some rough transition "we" decided to stay friends.

source: http://www.freewebs.com/ thedisneyclassics/lady3.jpg

Not the biggest relationship mistake I ever made, but this mistake definitely resulted in the biggest nuisance of my present day life.

Let's just clear this first. For the record... I don't hate him. I'm not still hung up on him. And I am not jealous of his wife.

BUT

I've grown indifferent in my old age to things that have no bearing on my existence. And his goings-ons definitely have no affiliation to my goings-ons.

Every so often, he decides that he wants to “hang out”. I dread these. I have no tolerance for unnecessary small talk, and I am GENUINELY disinterested in what he wants to share. I’m VERY happy that life is treating him relatively well, but I don’t really care to hear about it. More importantly, I don’t want to be his go-to person when his life is sucking because THAT’S WHAT HIS WIFE IS SUPPOSED TO DEAL WITH!

But how do you tell someone who was important in your life eons ago, that you don’t care to keep some sort of contact? How do you say, “Yes, it was special. But now, just get the fuck out.” I mean, it’s not like he calls to chat for no reason. He only wants to hang out when he needs something.

• I lost my job. Help me find a job. You know people.
• I’m doing a gallery showing of my work. Come look at it. Can you bring lots of people?
• My wife’s out of town and I’m bored. Can you eat dinner with me?
• I need someone to cheer me up.  Can we go out?

And on and on and on…

Yes, it sounds like nothing – just the regular kind of stuff that friends talk about. Except… I don’t feel dread when my friends say these things. I know I’ve grown intolerant in my old age, but honestly, I’m tired of this bullshit. When I meet up with friends, they ask about me and we talk about what going on in their lives AND in my life. When I meet up with him, all he wants to do is talk about himself, or glean some kind of information from me.  

Ex: So what’s the plan for tonight?

Me: Tonight?

Ex: We’re still meeting right? *snark*Unless today’s Tuesday.*snark*

Me: (yes, I could HEAR him rolling his eyes) I said no to Wednesday. I have classes on Wednesdays which is why I said Thursday.

Ex: Oh. Ok, I thought we agreed on Wednesday, but I’m still good for tomorrow night. Ok. (I could hear the slight doubt in his voice…like he thought *I* was lying or mistaken) So yeah… I’m still ok for tomorrow.

Me: Ok. Anytime after 5 is fine for me. I’m indifferent on food. So you pick and let me know.

Honestly… I’m tempted to friend-dump him. But it was such a painful experience dumping him the first time, I don’t know that I want to live through it a second time. Note to self: Never again date a guy that is more emo than your average girl.

Anyways… I texted him this morning to find out what he wants to eat tonight. *sigh* Let’s just get this over with, shall we?

When making a request, I think it's often good to give people a little bit of context just so they know where you're coming from and what you're looking for.  My boss, however, for some reason seems to think that providing context is unnecessary as you should ALREADY KNOW what he's looking for.

Boss:  Can you read this analyst report on ABC Inc.?  Highlight the important stuff...anything you know... interesting.

Me:  Is there something in particular we're looking for?

Boss:  Anything interesting.  You know... stuff that would matter.

Me:  Uh...sure.

[2 hours later:  Completed readings include analyst report, 3 press releases, and third quarter results report]

Me:  The only thing that might be of interest is their projected revenues for the Gen segment but that's it.  This analyst's report is mostly about them filing for rate changes on their Pi segment.

Boss:  Oh, we don't care about that stuff.  [chucks report into recycle bin]

So I'm guessing the two seconds it would've taken for him to read the title of the report was too much.  Better to let me spend two hours on this (cuz you know... got NOTHING ELSE TO  DO!! ) so that he can throw it in the recycling bin.  Gawd, this job is so rewarding....