Disclaimer:  I am very pissed off right now.  This is not just your regular rant.  This one is peppered with expletives.

Because there are times when a tweet simply is not cathartic enough for venting my anger, there are occasions where I need more than 140 characters to express just how pissed off I am.

You want to know why everything’s so F’d up!? BECAUSE *YOU* FRIGGIN’ TOUCHED IT!!

Yes… I still hate my boss.

I hate having to come in and clean up a mess that was entirely avoidable had you
JUST NOT FRIGGIN TOUCHED ANYTHING!!!

I have decided that I will no longer fix up people's PowerPoint presentations if they are not directly related to my work.  I don't care who it is. 

If it is not part of my  job and it's a workplace favour, FORGET IT!
I'm not doing it just because YOU promised to help them. 

If my idiot-boss wants to offer to lend his "expertise" and fix up other people's presentations, he's more than welcome to.  But I am SICK of him getting me to do it (because he doesn't know how), telling other people that "he" did it, and then turning around and talking to me like he knows PowerPoint better than I do. 

Ooooo... someone wants bragging rights for PowerPoint.  Have them.  I don't care. 
JUST DON'T FUCKING ASK ME!!!!
AFTER ALL, YOU'RE THE "EXPERT"!!  YOU DON'T NEED ME TO FIX THEM!

I will now pack up and go have a blueberry tea from Second Cup.  I will also take several (i.e. many) deep breaths as I try to calm my anger.  Someone please remind me again why Valium requires a prescription?  I don't think it should. 

HOW DARE HE call me into his office to give me heck about version control (he doesn't even know it's called version control)?!  Seriously.  He locked me out of the main presentation for the past week and a half even though this presentation is MY job.  Then, after he fucks it up... he has the audactiy to ask me to EXPLAIN why it's fucked up like this, as if it is somehow *my* fault?  The expression on his face was classic when I said, "Well, I can't give you an exact play by play description of how this would've happened since you've kept me locked out of the presentation for the last week and a half.  All the changes in the master version were made by you.  However, I can give you my speculation."

He didn't want to hear my speculation.  But, he did repeatedly ask as if somehow my answer would change to "I'm sorry.  It's my fault." 

TOO FUCKING BAD!! It's NOT my fault.  I'm not AS RETARDED AS YOU!!! 
The things that are wrong with the presentations are not things that I would EVER screw up in a million years because they are so rudimentary.  SO FUCK YOU!!

Okay... that's enough for today.  This anger is exhausting me.  I don't have the stamina I once did for getting angry since my idiot boss makes me angry so frequently.

I feel a strong bout of complacency and apathy setting it.  Might last a few days...maybe a week.

i went into the executive kitchen to pour myself *another* coffee this morning and ran into the CEO's admin assistant (AA) and the executive floor receptionist (EFR).  this was pretty funny.

EFR: So did you have a good weekend?

AA:  Yup.  But it wasn't long enough.  It's never long enough.

EFR:  I think it should be flipped around.

Me:  What?  5-day weekend, 2-day work week?

EFR:  Yes!

AA:  The work week would still be too long. 

Me:  Let's just say in my old age, I've come to regret saying "I don't want to be a trophy wife."

AA:  Well, you know, you can still do that.

Me:  Oh, I'm getting too old for that.  These days, the average age for trophy wives is ~17. 

AA:  You look about that age.

Me:  Maybe, but believe me... I'm so *not* 17.

AA:  Just don't tell anyone how old you really are.  You're only like 22, right?

Me:  faux laugh Sure.  Let's say that.

I've been in the company 6 years and I have a university degree.  Does she *really* think I'm 22?  Who does she think I am?  Doogie Howser?

Gawd... I need more coffee. 

Jaroslav Halak had a bad game last night. Actually, the last few games have been bad. Unlike a noisy segment of Habs fans, I was very saddened by this. I’ve always despised the Team Halak vs Team Price crap. Forced to choose, of course I sided with Carey, but I wasn’t happy about it.

I became the kind of Habs fan that watched the stats to keep tabs on our progress, but I refused to watch the games. I knew that Carey was our star even when he wasn’t shining so bright. I also kept tabs on Patrick Roy until he retired because he was the reason I loved hockey at all. He was my childhood hero. Joe Sakic was my captain because he brought the Olympic gold in men’s hockey back to where it belongs. But with their retirements, I had no one other than Carey to care about. So I didn’t watch NHL hockey and got my fill every 4 years watching Olympics.

Halak was on fire!! And that sparked my fire. Je suis canadienne. Hockey is in my blood. It was Halak’s fire that melted the angry ice that kept me from watching NHL hockey. So I watched every game that I could as he stood behind a team that trounced the Caps and the Penguins. While I was on holiday in my hometown of Montreal, I bought a red Cammalleri t-shirt and a blue Halak shirt. I wanted a Price shirt, but they didn’t have any. I trained my dog to jump up on her hind legs whenever I cheered for the Habs or Cammalleri. Cammy became my new Sakic (although Cammy is not the captain).

Last night, Halak let in seven goals – one of which he scored on himself. The haters on Twitter were mean, because they’re fucking assholes. Think about if this had happened in the Bell Centre – if any Habs goalie had scored on himself. The fans would’ve lynched him. Playing in Montreal can be as incredibly rewarding as it can be unbearably painful. The pressure has broken many excellent players. And mostly because of haters like this.

I will always cheer for Halak (except when he plays the Habs), and I hope he finds his way out of this funk to show everyone just how great of a goalie he is. Just as Pricey has finally shut up his haters and naysayers in Montreal, I know Halak will be able to shut up his set of haters too.

source:  http://www3.pictures.zimbio.com/gi/Ottawa+Senators+v+Montreal+Canadiens+QsfEdLd1EPbl.jpg

JARO!!!
I believe!!!!!!!

“My sense is that people who are into hockey did not find the idea of a hockey musical appealing to them,” says Amarshi, who spent $1-million marketing the $5-million film.

From The Globe & Mail; Nov. 12, 2010

Okay... you mean to tell me that someone had to make a movie that flopped to figure out that this concept wouldn't work?  Seriously??

I love hockey.  I love theatre.  I love musicals.  I love movies.  Do I want to watch a muscial about hockey in movie format?!  Uh... NO!!

I would've thought that the ridiculousness of this concept would be obvious.

I'd like to a see a really good hockey film (one depicting the greatness that is the Habs would be of interest ... or the failure that is the Leafs ), but if it's a musical, you can count me out.  I wouldn't even download it, let alone pay money to get a ticket to see it in the theatres.

I watched the two-part made for tv biopic of Don Cherry's life.  Love him or hate him, the film actually wasn't bad... but again, I wouldn't have paid money to watch it on the big screen.  And if they had put in parts where he broke into song and dance (thankfully, they did not), I would've barfed for sure.

Yes... the hockey game (what the hell were you dirty people thinking about? ).

Saturday, after a nerve racking second period where the Montreal Canadiens gave up their 2 point lead, I was left deliriously speechless with the 7-2 crushing of the Carolina Hurricanes.

The team came together and all became right in my world.

GO HABS GO!!

But I didn't want to just post that.

The reason I can't stop thinking about the game was two amazing plays.  An amazing save and an amazing goal.

Now, the save, obviously was Carey's.  Carey Price has been my favourite goalie since he was drafted (yes, I liked Halak too, but Carey was always my number 1).  And the reason for that... is saves like this one.

The biggest goal scored this game (in my opinion) belonged to Maxim Lapierre.  Not because it was the winning goal or the turning point for the game or anything like that.  It was *the* goal of the game on sheer beauty alone.  This is the Maxim Lapierre that I LOVE .  This is the 2009-2010 playoffs Maxim Lapierre.

It's the exact same kind of goal that I gushed over during the playoffs.  Oh, Lappy... for all the things you've done wrong, it's goals like this that make everything right. 

Remember this goal?

if this embedded video doesn't play, here's the link.

Montreal plays the Predators tomorrow night.  I won't be able to watch (I have a class tomorrow night) but my heart will be with the game.

In my mind, there are two types of shoes out there that (no matter how comfortable you say they are) BEYOND ugly.  There is no level of comfort that they could possible sustain that would justify their every day use, unless you work in a few specific environments.

The ugliest shoe of all is the Croc.  I don't care if they're comfortable.  They are ugly.  Being comfortable doesn't exempt them from being ugly.  Just as being a Habs fan does not automatically exempt you from being an idiot.  I love the Habs, and we're a great bunch of fans, but sitting among us are idiots that have less brain activity than a bag of pucks.  You know... like those people who *are still* comparing Jaro and Pricey... or those people who start riots when we're trying to celebrate in the streets... yeah.. them.  I digress.  Unless you work in a hospital, kitchen, or hospital kitchen you should not be wearing Crocs to go shopping.  Actually, landscapers/gardeners can wear Crocs too.  But everybody else?  GET SOME REAL SHOES!

source:  http://www.diamondvues.com/crocs.jpg

Although Crocs are ugly, they aren't the most pervasive.  The dreaded Uggs are UGGly too... but MORE pervasive!  I see them EVERYWHERE!  I will admit that they look okay on say teenagers in leggings, but if you are in your 20s or older, why the F are you dressed like that?

source:  http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:EtHldmtAaxv2_M:http://www.millionlooks.com/images/uggs-boots.jpg&t=1

The first time I saw a pair of Uggs I was in Australia.  You know who wears them?  Housewives running errands.  Maybe surfers coming in from the cold surf and wanted to wear fuzzy boots instead of flip flops (or thongs, as they're called Down Under).  But you know who WASN'T wearing them?  People walking down the street going shopping or going to work or PRETENDING TO BE FASHIONABLE!  You look RIDICULOUS!

So my uncle from Australia came to visit and asked if I wanted anything.  I had requested a pair of sheepskin slippers (much like the pair I bought for myself when I was there) and instead, received a pair of mid-calf high Uggs.  The logo looks a little funny so they may be knock offs, but whatever.  I'm not opposed to owning them... but you won't catch me wearing them for the purpose of going out.

The other morning, it was really cold, so I put them on to take my dog out for a walk.  The *are* very comfy when you first put them on.  And they're also incredibly warm.  All this is good.  But while I was walking my dog, I discovered that they're not very easy to walk in because the sole is not contoured to your foot.  It's COMPLETELY flat.     Also, it forces you to thump when you walk.  It's not exactly the most elegant shoe.  All this adds to my bafflement.  Why the hell do girls wear these like it's the best shoe on earth?

Girls, you look stupid and these are bad for your posture.  Wear them to shovel snow or something, but there's really no point walking in them.  You'll just end up with fallen arches and back pain.  Which in the long run isn't much different from high heels which F up your posture, shorten your Achilles, and make your calves hurt.  At least they LOOK better.

source:  http://www.theage.com.au/ffximage/2006/05/26/manolo_narrowweb__300x372,0.jpg

I know, I know.. everyone keeps telling me the same thing.  "Just get out of there!"  It's not that I haven't been looking, but it's hard to get out.  Lateral moves can be blocked and being at a senior level, promotions aren't exactly common.  I guess there are tons of demotion options.   But rest assured, I am looking.

Anyways... on with the story.

So my boss has this issue (which I refer to as the metaphorical nervous twitch).  He insists that I cc him on every email that I send -- which is completely ridiculous so I don't do it.  However, to humour him, I cc him on when I'm responding to requests or inquiries.

Today, I got an email asking for the communication package that was sent out from the CFO's office regarding some revision we made in June (remember... JUNE).  Apparently, the auditor wants to see it.  So I point out where it's located on the Intranet, and cc my boss.  I also inform the guy that if he's ever looking for the communication packages after they come off of the "Top News" section of the Intranet, they're located under CFO Communications.

About 2 hours later, my boss PHONES me and INFORMS me that there was a communication package on the same topic that went out in October. 

Me:  "Yes.  I know."

Boss:  "So why didn't you send that one to [inquirer]?"

Me:  "He specifically asked for June."

Boss:  "Oh really?  But this one is more recent."

Me:  "His email clearly says the auditors want to see the big package about the major revamp that was completed and communicated in June.  The package that went out in October was a one-pager indicating a minor update.  I doubt the auditors would care about it since the change only matters to the Payment Processing clerks."

Boss:  "How do you know they only want the June package?"

Me:  "Uhm... because they specifically asked for it?  It's in the email?  'Communication package regarding the June update.'?"

Boss:  "Oh.  Right.  Yeah, I didn't read that far.  Only saw they wanted an update on [subject matter], and October was the most recent package."

Me:  "The email is only 3 lines long."

Boss:  "So they have everything they need?"

Me:  "Their email response of 'Thanks, this is exactly what we're looking for.' would seem to indicate that."

It really never ends....