I NEVER thought I'd be writing a part 2 to this.  Ever. And as great as it is to have fodder for my blog, I must say that this something I would've preferred to have gone without.

On Monday, I blogged Part 1.  I really was stunned that anyone could say such a thing, but it was more of a matter of just selecting the wrong words to convey his meaning, than being deliberately tactless.  This evening, my mother phoned a relative to thank them for sending flowers to my grampa's funeral and here are the "classic" statements this relative had to share with my mom on the passing of her father.  you know... words of "comfort."

1. Well, you must be feeling better now.  And your mother too, right?

2. So... life must be so much easier now. 
3. He was sick for so long that it must be a relief to not have to do so much anymore.
4. Well, it's not exactly like this wasn't expected.
5. Your mom can't be taking it too hard.  After all, they haven't lived together for years.  Hasn't he been in that nursing home for almost 10 years?
6. This means you have so much more free time now!
7. Your mom must be so relieved that it's over.
8. It's not like when my dad passed.  After all, he and my mother still lived together.

The phone conversation didn't last long.  My mom got more and more infuriated by the moment... but unlike me, my mom felt the need to restrain herself and maintain some level of civility.  As you can see from Part 1, I don't subscribe to that philosophy myself.    She said it's different because this was a relative.  Personally, I would've been more extreme because it's a relative.  At least I can say she's the only relative I have who would say something so insane.  And I take great comfort in being able to say... "That's okay.  She married in.  Maybe we convince her husband to divorce her."

I just saw this and though, WTF?!?!

Taiwan woman 'marries' herself at wedding ceremony

I think this is ABSOLUTELY insane.  And of course, being the systematic type of person that I am, I will list out my arguments.

1. "Marrying myself is a way of showing I am confident and upbeat and that I accept myself for who I am."  I'm sorry, what??  Marrying yourself doesn't show that.  It shows that you're so INSECURE in being on your own that you have to PRETEND that you're two people becoming a whole.  If you're confident and upbeat, why would you be putting on this PUBLIC DISPLAY?!
   
   
2. Marriage is a legal contract between two people.  For a legal contract to have any sort of weight, there must be a mutual and fair benefit to both two parties.  Okay... there's no exchange here of mutual benefit.  NOTHING IS FREAKING CHANGING!
   
   
3. Weddings.  You know they are?  They are a circus.  Public spectacle.  And.... (particularly if you're Chinese or Italian)...

The only reason I take issue with the idiocy is because I am perfectly happy in my singledom.  I'm confident and happy with my choices in life and I don't have to PROVE it to anyone.  Putting on this public display isn't a show of confidence.  It's a farce.  I find this to be tacky and disgusting.  I hold the same disdain for this as I do for reality television.

Freaking attention whores.

Disclaimer #1:  This is a rant.  I'm annoyed and pissed.  If you want to label me as a cranky singleton, go ahead... I don't give a shit WHAT you think.  You may even go so far as to label me as a spinster-in-training.  I don't care.

The other day, I blogged about my "idea" of a baby shaped piñata.  For those who have a stick shoved so far up your ass that it's poking out of your nose, let me remind you that it was a joke.

joke (jk), n.
 - Something said or done to evoke laughter or amusement
 - An amusing or ludicrous incident or situation
 - Something not to be taken seriously
 - An object of amusement or laughter

And in addition to being a joke... it wasn't even a joke/gag that was actually going to be executed at the baby shower.  It was just a conversational joke.  A thought.  An idea.  A concept.  Something that is NOT REAL!

I like sarcastic, dark humour (but not too dark).  I think the beating of a paper maché baby isn't really *that* dark of a joke.  I don't like those dead cat or dead baby jokes that seem so popular, but I like developing ludicrous "justifications" for why a paper maché baby is a good idea -- like a thought puzzle.  I amuse myself with these sorts of "justifications" ALL THE TIME.  Notice my use of Family 2.0 and implication of culling the old and sick in my response to "So is your family better now?"?

If you claim to be my friend and you haven't figured out that these "ideas" are composed in jest, then MAYBE you should stop reading my textual diarrhoea.  I'm not here to entertain you.  I blog to entertain ME.  Entertaining/offending others is just a side feature. 

Not that I am obligated to "educate" people but I thought I'd share a little non-joke information on how this idea germinated.

The last time I swung at a piñata, I was about 8 years old.  Have you ever done it?  It's *so* much fun when the piñata finally splits open and you are showered with candy.  It's every kid's dream.  I've been wanting to incorporate a piñata into a party for YEARS but the opportunity just never really presented itself.  But you know, a baby shower would be a pretty good opportunity.  The piñata could be filled with soother-shaped candies, or little baby booties or whatever.  Baby stuff.... since it's all so tiny anyways.

Disclaimer #2:  When it comes to Spanish traditions, I'm as mangicake as you can get.  My dad (who is of Chinese ethnicity but was born and raised in Peru) wasn't as diligent about teaching the Spanish stuff as he and my mom were about teaching Chinese stuff.  So although I'm by no means an expert on Spanish/South American traditions, I do sorta know a little bit.

Since people may need a little history about the piñata... it's NOT representative of BEATING the real thing.  So if you have a donkey shaped piñata, it's not that people want to beat a real donkey with a stick.  From what I was told as a child:

The decorated piñata represents Satan, who has disguised himself by wearing attractive masks to lure people to become sinners.

So *that* is who you're beating -- Satan in disguise.  Several Internet sites have at least corroborated this.  Some sites talk about the piñata coming from China but I've never heard that before, so I don't know how much stock you want to put in that.  As far as the modern-day Spanish speaking world is concerned, this is pretty much the tradition as I know it.

So... if you're still mad or offended or indignant (or whatever else you feel like being) then please, continue on your selected road of choice.  I don't care.  It's not every day that I bother to "explain" myself to others -- and yes, it's because I DON'T HAVE TO!  I only did it for this because the subject of babies seems to be so damned sacred these days.

FYI:  You having a baby is not a miracle.  Babies are not miracles.  There is a baby born almost every single second of every day.  If they were miracles, they wouldn't be so damned common.  Your baby may be YOUR miracle, but it sure as hell isn't mine.  You want to perform a miracle?  How about you adopt a child who NEEDS a family because theirs has died (due to war, disease, poverty, etc...)?  There's something THAT DOESN'T HAPPEN EVERY SECOND OF EVERY DAY!

I don't hate babies.  Yes, I'm happy for those who have decided that they WANT to embark on the adventure that is birthing and raising children that are genetically their own.  But you know what I don't like?  I don't like having your views on the sacredness of babies rammed down my throat and then judging me when I barf it back up.  I understand that your little one is precious to you.  When I visit people with babies, I play with the baby... and sing songs to the baby... and tickle the baby... and whatever else the parents ask/tell me to do to entertain the baby.  BUT HOLY FUCK, YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY PERSON IN THE WORLD WHO HAS A BABY!! 

side note:  For the record, I'd like to clearly and explicitly state that I LOVE toddlers... because they can talk, they walk funny, and they have cute laughs.  I don't get as excited about babies as I do about toddlers, but that doesn't mean I hate babies... okay?  You don't get toddlers without babies, you know?

Non-dog people make fun of dogs all the time.  Do I jump down their throats and tell them how offensive they're being?  No.  Could I?  Sure.  Would I be justified in doing that?

...

...

...

*You people still trying to guess what I'm going to say?*

...

...

...

NO, I WOULDN'T BE JUSTIFIED IN DOING THAT!!  You know why?  BECAUSE IT'S HUMOUR!  It might be crass and tasteless (like The Family Guy or South Park), but they're not serious (if they were serious, I'd tell them off... oh wait... you told me off anyways even though I WASN'T serious). 

I feel my rant "starting" to roll into a ramble (erhm.. okay, so maybe it already is a ramble).  I should just wrap this up.

1. There will be no baby-shaped piñata at this party.  It was never in the plan.  It will never be in the plan.  And you have absolutely NOTHING to do with the fact that it's not in the plan.

2. If you have no sense of humour, please... don't read my stuff.  It'll offend you and then I have to read your dumbass comments.
3. It wouldn't kill you to educate yourself before blasting me.  Seriously.

Not that I care as to whether or not you believe me...but I am completely happy in my singleton life.  I get to buy what I want, vacation where I want, and get up and leave whenever I damn well please.  I don't have to explain myself to a husband.  I don't have to concern myself with children.  And my dog is not nearly as unreasonable or demanding as offspring so I can just bring her with me.  I am not jealous of what you have because I DON'T WANT what you have.  I'm not bitter.  I'm annoyed with your prejuding and perseverence in insisting that I want/need to get married and start a family (yes, the clock's ticking...and it's falling on deaf ears).  I'm not going to do it your way.  So just get over yourself.  Though you may never understand or agree with my thinking, as my friend, all I ask is that you ACCEPT that I have CHOSEN a different path FROM YOU!  If you can't even do this for me, then maybe you should start rethinking about my status as your friend.

I leave you with this:

Facebook hasn't made me hate everyone I know (okay... so I don't actually hate anyone as a result of Facebook, but I certainly like some people less because of it), but it has brought to light characteristics I strongly dislike exhibited by people I thought I knew.  And on this Twitter-Facebook scale, Xanga falls a lot closer to Twitter than Facebook.

[end of rant] we now return to your regular scheduled programming.

Over lunch today, my friend and I were brainstorming some baby shower ideas and I had a moment of brilliance.  I had a GREAT idea for a baby shower game.

The Baby Piñata

source:  http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3181/2338452019_051d6d11a4_z.jpg

Com'on.... admit it.  It's ingenious.  In today's day and age, no matter how infuriated you are with your child, you cannot beat them.  So why not take out your anger on a paper maché one?  Go ahead, just beat it with a stick.  And you can beat it as hard as you like... cuz if you smash it, CANDY falls out.

For this blog I did a quick Google search and saw that some other people already came up with this idea and took pictures (it's amazing what you find on Flickr (1) & (2)).

I saw a uterus piñata too.  Now *that* is disturbing.

source:  http://farm1.static.flickr.com/42/101079565_441b1bb737.jpg

Oh yeah... the fetus one was pretty disturbing too.

source:  http://images.tribe.net/tribe/upload/photo/41e/684/41e684ea-ca61-4642-b8bb-8f134a40675a

Admit it... you like this idea, don't you?

Disclaimer:  I do not, even in the slightest, endorse the beating of children/babies.

Public Service Announcement:  If you ever wish to offer condolences or inquire after your colleague's well being after the passing of a close relative, here's what you should NOT do.

Today was my first day back at the office after taking bereavement leave for my grampa's passing.  The memorial/funeral service was last Tuesday (for friends & family to attend), and the burial after cremation was on Friday.

Although my grampa was very old and of failing health, he had trucked along for so long that we really didn't see it coming.  I wouldn't say we were totally shocked, but we were a little surprised.  I think it was more denial than anything else.

Anyways... it hasn't been easy.  My gramma's not handling it well and my mom is very stressed (though a little less now that all the complicated logistics have been taken care of).  But I would say aside from  my gramma and my brother (who for a long time was my grampa's primary caregiver), everyone else is slowly pulling it together and limping along.  My gramma and brother will need a little help and a lot of time.

Since my boss is off until Wednesday, he left the boss-wannabe in charge.  Being that I'm his only permanent employee, I should be in charge, but honestly... this week, I don't want to be in charge.  So I'm okay with this arrangement.

HOWEVER... the one thing boss-wannabe does (that I never do) is strut around and *act* like the boss.  Dude, you don't know what I'm working on because our boss isn't exactly the greatest at keeping the "team" in the loop.  So don't come over here acting like you know what's up.  But *that* wasn't what set me off today.  He came over to my desk around 12:30 pm and the first thing he says to me is:

So is your family better now?

I'm sorry. WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!?!? SERIOUSLY?! WHO SAYS THAT?!?!?

So... being my normal self, I responded in the most diplomatic way I know how (yeah, right).

Me:  Better?  Better than what?

Boss-wannabe:  Better than before?

Me:  Oh yeah.  We totally upgraded.  Got rid of the slowest one.  Now my family is faster and more efficient.  You know... Family v2.0.

BW:  Uh, no... that's not what I meant?

Me:  Then what exactly did you mean?

BW:  Well, you know... I was just wondering if your family was all better now?

Me:  You mean like have we recovered from our affliction?  We're probably all better.  We cremated AND buried the cause of our "problem." 

BW:  Uhm.... uhm... uhm...

Me:  Okay, how about you let me enjoy my yogurt at Family 2.0 speed by moving along.  I'm so optimized right now that I don't want you to slow me back down.  K?

Almost 12 hours later, I'm still shocked and indignant.  Seriously.  WHO SAYS THAT?!

Not like that.  I'm not an obsessive Eminem fan-girl.  He's not my type.  I like my boys pretty.  What I mean is I love listening to his music.

I just read this and I really couldn't phrase it any better myself.

Though I’ve always been drawn to great lyricists and songwriters, I’d never heard anyone able to effectively indulge satire, rage, sorrow, shame, guilt, regret, power, passion, loneliness, bravado, stupidity, genius, leadership, idiocy, misogyny, sympathy and, believe it or not, tender compassion. And Eminem was doing it in a stream of pentameter that would, I’m certain, cause William Shakespeare to shudder.

Anyone who's been following my blog (or my Twitter feed) or knows me, knows that I heart me some satire.  And in particular, I'm a great aficiando of witty writing.  I don't love every song that Eminem's ever written... and I actually don't like any of his early works.  It was only after the release of Eminem Show that I was all piqued by his music.  He hooked me with Hailie's Song.

source:  http://www.marcmauro.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/cover_Eminem_TheEminemShow.jpg

And I must say... Relapse as a whole album was a total flop (in my mind).  But I think Recovery is redemption (sort of).  I read some reviews... and there are people who will likely disagree with me (like the NY Times) but perhaps it's because as an artist progresses through his career, I expect less and accept more.  Maybe that's a flaw on my part, but these days I'm satisfied if a 10-track album gives me 3 songs I really love and 4 songs that I like.

Em, you should write more.  Five years was a long time to go without releasing an album.  I think people *cough*critics*cough* have forgotten just how hard it is to one-up yourself every single time.  It's not like these critics have ever released anything noteworthy themselves.  They just sit there and slag others.  Such haters.  How can anyone hate on an album that is dedicated to "anyone who's in a dark place tryin' to 2 get out. Keep your head up... It does get better!"?

And for those who really want to get into words about it... did I mention that I'm well-versed in classic English literature and have a love for Shakespeare's sonnets?

source:  http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/photos/uncategorized/2007/06/28/shakespeare_2.jpg

Separation is neither definitively good nor bad.  There are times when you need to be separated (like in the case of serious dysfunctional addiction) and there are times when separation is bad (like mom and toddler at the carnival).  Some separation is temporary and some permanent - and none more permanent than death.

Today I was permanently separated from someone.  And yes, death took him.  There is a case to be made for both sides in that it was good and bad... but as the person left behind, it is harder to feel good about it even if your head knows it's okay.

On March 26, 1922 my grampa was born.  The story of his life is long, and filled with trials and tribulations.  He came to age during the Japanese invasion (for those of you who aren't familiar with the history, little tiny Japan invaded the enormous land mass that is China... and yes... Japan was stronger.  If you want the details, go look it up.  I may write about it one day, but not today).  He survived the torment that was the Cultural Revolution and tried to raised a family through it.  Go watch Farewell my Concubine if you'd like a sample of that torment - and for the record, no... my grampa was not in the Chinese opera.  He was a quality control inspector for various manufacturing plants... and a union organizer.  His China was not the China of today.  Many of the hardships he endured then would be unimaginable for your average Canadian born Chinese kid today.

My mother escaped China in her early 20s and eventually moved to Canada.  I did not meet her father until he immigrated to Canada in 1988.  I was just a child at the time and had grown up with my father's dad.  He wasn't the most conventional grampa and I had longed for the kind of grampa that kids read about in stories at Christmas time.  I expected that this other grampa that was coming to Canada would be the kind of grampa who sat in a rocking chair, smoked a pipe, and told many interesting and funny "When I was your age" stories.  This might sound horrible, but all I got was someone who looked and dressed like the BFG and smoked cigarettes.  He did have a pipe he smoked on occasion but so did my other grampa so that didn't cut it.

I was disappointed, but I grew to love him in spite of this.  He taught me a lot about the history of China.  Not the kind of history you learn from reading history books, but kind of history you can only learn from someone who was actually there. And although I will never agree with the methodology employed by the Communist party, I did learn to understand the fundamentals that started the movement in China.

My grampa was not perfect by any means.  But he was an honourable man who loved his country (China) dearly.  As a typical Chinese man of the times, he was not good at showing affection, but he was an expert at showing pride.  He was prodigiously proud of all his grandchildren and loved us all very dearly.  There are some grandchildren that he rarely got to see (separated by geographical distance, failed marriages, and in some cases both) and did not get a chance to really know, but every single update he got was proudly shared with all around.  He took pride in our educational successes and upon hearing that we had all turned out to be good kids (i.e. we're not criminals, thugs, or drug dealers).

Today we were separated from him at 5 am.  It was the first time where Toronto East General did not physically torment him for hours only to dredge him back from the brink of death to the point of "at least he's alive."  After the last round of life preserving measures taken by that god-forsaken institution, he expressed that he wanted to go with dignity and on his own terms.  Although it was very hard, we agreed.  His paperwork at the nursing home was changed from "life preservation" to "ensure comfort".  They called us to the nursing home last night because his breathing was poor.  They had given him an oxygen tank and nurses came to check on him every hour.  When we sat with him, he was alert (he could recognize everyone) but he could not talk.  We left him to sleep with promises to come back the next day to see him.  It's a promise that we kept, but not under the circumstances we would have liked.  After all, he was not obliged to keep the same promise.  At 4 am, when the first of us arrived at the nursing home he had already stopped breathing.  I arrived before the doctor made his declaration, but he was already gone.

Eighty-eight years of life is a long time.  And of course there are many moments when I look back on my life with him and say "I could've, should've done better" but I know that my grampa loved me and I did do the best I could have done.  He left telling everyone that I'm the Deputy Premier of Ontario (I'm not) and that I was going to change the world (we'll see).  And he leaves behind him a legacy of grandchildren who have all achieved more than he could have hoped for.

Rest in peace, Grampa.  We love you.  We miss you.  But we know that you're in a place without pain and suffering, so we will learn to let you go.

It wasn’t an impulse purchase, but it really didn’t involve as much research as my usual big purchases. Then again, a few hundred dollars isn’t really that big of a purchase.

I bought myself a netbook. It’s an Acer. I’ve never bought an Acer before. In my mind, it’s always the discount computer… and we all know I’m *way* too snooty for that. However, since I’ll likely be shopping for a new laptop in the next year or so, I didn’t want to blow a lot of money on a netbook. I wanted something that was cheap but still fast enough that I wouldn’t be motivated to throw it against the wall.

I had considered buying a netbook while on this trip but I was planning on being out hiking and horseback riding a lot, so had originally decided against it. I mean, when the heck was I going to have time to use it? As it happened, the weather has been horrible, here in South Lake Tahoe, and is expected to continue until Friday – the day before I leave. It’s been raining so much that the terrain is just too wet and soft for anything. Plus, I don’t like getting drenched. Besides, the idea is to have fun on vacation, not kill myself in a mudslide. So I headed over to Carson City (because that’s where the closest Best Buy is located) to check them out the netbooks person.

True to the usual Best Buy style, I was asked if I needed help at least 3 times within the first 5 minutes. I had to send them away, but I was very polite about it. I had to be. I was wearing my Team Canada Olympic jacket. I played with several different netbooks and a couple of laptops. My main requirement is that it is fast enough for me to manage all my social media, and sufficient to meet my writing needs (you know… because I’m a part-time writer and editor). There was a Sony laptop (I know… so weird, because I usually hate Sony) that was seriously flirting with me, but I wasn’t going to shell out $1,200 today.

The brands I looked at today were Acer, Dell, HP, Samsung, and Toshiba. It was a tough choice. HP and Dell didn’t have a hope in hell. Although, the HP was the same price as the cheaper of the two Acers, I’ve had an HP before. It made me very unhappy. Dell has been a workplace nightmare for many years so there was no way I was going to bring a Dell home. I was on the fence about the Toshiba because it was an extra $50 and the laptop with which I am currently falling out of love is a Toshiba. Plus I wasn’t crazy about the keyboard. Something about it just bothered me – the gaps between the keys was just too weird. Ultimately, the tactility of the keyboard eliminated the Toshiba. Acer and Samsung had me at price, because performance was almost indistinguishable. So it was between the $299.99 Acer and the $329.99 Samsung. There was also a later model Acer for $349.99 but I wasn’t crazy about the mouse button. However, I think it was only overly sticky because it was the demo and had been clicked a zillion times. The downside was that Best Buy didn’t have a good selection of colours for their netbooks, but I was willing to overlook that minor detail.

I spent quite a bit of time checking out the netbooks, but when I was finally ready, there were no salespeople to be found. One dude walked by and said he was the only computer guy working on the floor, but would be with me in a few minutes. Half an hour later, I decided that I had waited more than long enough. Seriously, if you don’t want to sell me a computer, just friggin’ say so.

I could’ve just coughed it up to the world saying it wasn’t meant to be, but I really am tired of watching so much television because there’s nothing else to do (thanks, crappy weather!). So, since there was a Walmart superstore between the Best Buy and highway back to South Lake Tahoe, I stopped in there to check out their netbooks.

As luck would have it, they only carry one netbook – a model very similar to the newer model Acer that I saw at Best Buy. The one at Best Buy was red. I didn’t really like the red one. It was okay but I’m not really a red-laptop kind of girl. I would’ve been much happier if it were in blue – which happens to be available online, but not in the store. I played with the demo at Walmart and obviously, they don’t get nearly as much traffic of netbook shoppers as Best Buy. The mouse button was acceptable. So instead having to emphatically explain to the Best Buy people why I don’t need an extended warranty, I was in and out of Walmart in less than 20 minutes.

[Side story: When I bought my laptop, the guy at Best Buy was so condescending about how if anything ever happened with my computer, I’d be so screwed because I didn’t buy their stupid little warranty. FYI. If I really wanted to, I can easily take this baby apart and rebuild it from scratch. I don’t need some donkey from your Geek Squad to waste my time. Thanks.]

I think I might leave the protective plastic that’s on the screen. Even though it looks kind of ghetto.

I saw that @shmitzysays issued a Challenge to Hab Bloggers.  I'd hardly call myself a regular Habs blogger because let's be frank here.... I don't exactly keep a good eye on the stats or styles of each individual player.  I'm what you'd call... the dumb, passionate fan.  I LOVE the Habs! (If you haven't noticed, then obviously you weren't following my blog in May 2010).  But I don't always know who's having a good streak, bad streak (unless it's poor Carey, cuz idiots in the Bell Centre like to boo him during the rough patches) or any streak at all.  Sometimes... I can't even pronouce the players names (you know HOW LONG it took for me to figure out how to say Kostitsyn?).

BUT... I'm not usually one to pass up a challenge.  I looked at some of those who participated in then challenge and though, Wow.  They all sound so knowledgeable.  All my picks are uhm... yeah... based on nothing.  Or worse... other people's opinions.  But, hey... we all have to have someone who just sorta picks randomly?  Is there one of those in every sports pool?    So although I'm not picking completely blind... I'd have to say that my picks aren't all that knowledgeable.  And the fact that I've watched almost zero pre-season hockey, and I don't follow the juniors... and... uh... yeah, so a lot of things might add to that...

Aside:  My disclaimer is probably longer than my actual picks.

Line 1:  Cammy-Pleky-Kosti
Was there ever any question of where I'd put Cammy?    I debated as to whether or not to make this line second or third but ultimately put them up on the first line.  Why?  Because I find that generally, the Habs play better if they strike as soon as the game starts.  If they score in the first few minutes, most of the time, the game is as good as theirs.  Okay... I exaggerate, but that's my feeling.  My Cammy is the best sniper around.  And I think there's a reason we chose to pay top dollar for Pleky... and seeing how cap was such an issue, we wouldn't keep Pleky if he we didn't expect to get a major bang for our buck.  Kosti might seem like a questionable choice, but I think he's got decent chemistry with Pleky, and I think putting my little Cammy, between big boys is a good idea.  I also think that the stability of Cammy and Pleky (long haul commitment to the team) will be good for Kosti too.  I guess that means Cammy and Kosti have to duke it out to decide who's going to play left or right wing, but seems like our whole roster is of lefts and centres.  No rights, cept for Mr. Captain Man.

Line 2:  Eller-Gomez-Gio
So obviously, Mr. Captain Man has to be here.  I put Eller in here because I hear he's been one of the little shining stars of training camp and I think rookie would do well to have two veterans with him.  Uhm... yeah... that's it.

Aside:  I'm still sorta on the fence as to whether or not I would swap Line 1 and 2, but seeing as I'm supposed to get this done before 4pm EST, I'll just have to go with this. 

Line 3: Lappy-Pyatt-White
I know I know... they're all centres.  But I'm not gonna worry about it because this is my young, scrappy line.  By the time we get to line 3, we need to get the energy up.  I think the infecteous scrappy energy of Lapierre and Pyatt will build up some momentum in White and they'll all just go out there, go nuts, and pump the game up to get going again.

Line 4: Moen-Darche-Boyd
I may be giving Darche more opportunity than he's due, but I think he's got it in him to be great.  He had a couple of noteworthy plays (they must've been noteworthy, even *I* heard about them) and I think Moen and Boyd can show him how it's done.  Plus, once you've wound it up with a scrappy line, you've got to take that energy and execute with in.  Step in Mr. Moen.

Press Box:  Halpern-Pacioretty
Because they're the only people left that I recognize?  I know... bad reason.

Hamilton: Pouliot
I'm not sure he deserves a spot on the team yet.  Something about his ass spending more time wiping the ice than a zamboni?  Or maybe that was someone else...Hmmm...

Waivers: ???
Seriously, I can't say.  It'd be unfair for me to pick someone because it really would be totally random.

I'd like to think the lines I picked are a good mix of skill plus youth.  I'm not quite sophisticated enough to talk about depth, but I do ponder the though of "Why is our roster so centre and left heavy?"  I leave it to the experts.

There... I think I just made the 4pm deadline.  Just.