This is so unbelievably reminiscent of my high school chemistry class I don’t even know what to say.

I saw this screen capture floating around on the Internet and at first, I laughed out loud. And then… I fell into a contemplative silence.

source: http://img.izismile.com/img/img4/
20110526/640/daily_picdump_700_640_high_66.jpg
Click to view full sized

Many eons ago, in my OAC Chemistry class (the equivalent of AP Chemistry when I was in high school) my chemistry teacher asked the class this hugely profound question.

What is the fuel in a candle? The wax or the wick?

source: http://rlv.zcache.com/o_o_wtf_
tshirt-p235087516927217414tr1k_400.jpg

Now, being a keener in high school, I immediately said, "The wax."

I thought it was obvious. And I was a bit arrogant when I was in high school (only a bit, I got the rest of my arrogance after I finished university) so I said it in that "Well, duh! What a stupid question" tone.

Normally, my classmates did not dispute my answer because I was always right (or more accurately, I *only* answered when I was 100% sure that I was right. When I wasn't sure, I would STFU). But on this day…for THIS QUESTION, every single person in my class turned to me like I was the retard and said, "Oh!! That's ridiculous!! The fuel is OBVIOUSLY the wick."

source: http://rlv.zcache.com/o_o_wtf_tshirt
-p235087516927217414tr1k_400.jpg
 

I couldn’t believe it. I was in complete shock and disbelief. My best friend was in this class. She sided with the wick group. Several other friends of mine…even my lab partner…everyone agreed it was the wick and were scolding me for my ignorance. It was like the twilight zone.

The teacher, as usual, looked somewhat amused and then stated that he would take only one answer and the class had to come to a unanimous decision.

I flatly refused to change my answer. The class started to heap up their arguments against me. I swear, this was probably as close to a medieval witch trial as I was ever going to experience.

Me: If the wick is the fuel, why do you need wax?
Classmate: To hold up the wick!

Me: Then why do you have candles of different widths?
Classmate: It’s just decorative.

Me: Why does a fat candle take longer to burn than a thin candle of the same height? The wicks are the same.
Classmate: Have you ever even burned a candle?! A fat candle and a thin candle take the same amount of time to burn.

source: http://www.cartoonstock.com/
lowres/wpr0155l.jpg

The teacher said time was up and asked what the answer was. I exclaimed it was the wax. The class obstinately insisted that it was the wick. He asked me if I would change my answer and I said, “There is no way anyone will EVER get me to agree that the wick is the fuel for a candle. And I can’t convince the class otherwise if they’re going to band together and insist that the world is flat."

source: http://www.kingmonkey00.com/
web_images/flatworld.jpg

Then came the teacher’s sermon…and yes, I was sitting smug the whole time.

Never in the history of my career have I ever seen such a passionate division on this question. I have never seen it contested in such a way where there was a lone voice that stood so adamantly against an almost unanimous answer. I commend all of you for standing up for what you believe.

However, I have also never in the history of my career encountered such a large group of people who unanimously believe that the wick is the fuel for a candle. How any of you made it into OAC chemistry believing that the wick is the fuel is beyond me.

The fuel for a candle is most definitely the WAX. Every argument I heard today in favour of the wick was illogical and ludicrous. And every argument laid out against the wax was equally so. I strongly suggest that this class rethink their program choice for post-secondary education because today’s discussion would be borderline traumatic for anyone in academia.

You may be wondering how I remember the details so vividly (though the words of the teacher’s sermon may not be exact, the sentiment is). I remember this day so very clearly, but the reason I remember the exact arguments and the teacher’s sentiment…is because in high school, I kept a daily journal. And believe me…I recorded this event at such an incredible level of detail because, really, you can’t make this stuff up. Never in my entire life did I ever think that this would happen. And yet it did. And as illustrated by that Facebook screen capture, stuff like this still happens.

I watched Pirates of the Caribbean - On Stranger Tides last Wednesday.

I've seen a few comments and read a few reviews and I must say it did make me less than excited to see the movie.  Last night though, a colleague and I decided to go watch a movie after dinner, just spur of the moment, so we opted to see Pirates.  It's a light-hearted fun kind of movie, and I would NEVER say no to Johnny.

source:  http://www.waleg.com/celebrities/images/depp-sparrow.jpg

With all the mediocre reviews, I had pretty low expectations.  But even without them, I didn't have any UNREALISTIC expectations either.  It's a Disney flick.  Pirates of the Caribbean is now a franchise.  And there's no Orlando Bloom in it.  So seriously... what the hell were you expecting?

The story is pretty simple and yes, there are a lot of noisy action scenes.  But honestly, watching Jack Sparrow is kinda like watching old skool Jackie Chan movies from when he was just a Hong Kong celebrity.  Jack Sparrow is just so wacky and tripped out that you expect him to killed by his own idiocy within the first ten minutes, but then somehow through just sheer insanity (which never ever gets mistaken for genius) and a bit of luck (or was it), he pulls it off.  And that is pretty much what I loved about it.

On Stranger Tides is considerably shorter than the other Pirates movies (or at least it felt that way - which is really all that matters) and they did introduce a cute piece of eye candy to fill the void left by the non-recurrance of Will Turner.  He's like the innocent, naive, sweet Will Turner from the first Pirates movie, but not nearly as hot as Orlando.  Sorry, Sam.  You're a cutie, but yeah...not Orlando.

I'm not doing a review or a recap here.  It's not exactly a thought-provoking, deep movie.  It's just for fun so not going to bother "analyzing" it.  It was fun, end of commentary. 

Though I will admit there wasn't much point to watching it in 3D.  There was very little noticeable 3D.  Or maybe I just don't pay enough attention to detail.

Seriously, men… why? WHY?

It’s a BEAUTIFUL day outside. I was on the streetcar headed back towards the office. I had gone to Chinatown to pick up some lunch. Blocking one of the rear doors was an Eastern European man. From his accent, I’d guess he was Russian. Picture your average looking construction worker with sandy brown hair.

A pretty brown-skinned girl in a floral summer dress said “excuse me” and indicated that she wanted to get off the streetcar. The Creep leered at her and started muttering things like, “I’ll let you off this time, but only this time. Next time, you’ll have to stay on the streetcar forever. Forever.” In typical Torontonian fashion, she did not make eye contact with him and pretended like she couldn’t hear him. So he continued. He kept saying more creepy things to her. As I watched, I kept *willing* the streetcar to get to the stop faster so as to facilitate her escape.

Then a tall-ish mangicake dude stepped between them and said to the Creep, “What are you doing? Just leave her alone.”

And the Creep replied, “What? She’s cute. I want her to stay on the streetcar with me forever. You think she’s cute too, don’t you? Isn’t she pretty?” Then he turns to the girl again and says, “Only this time will I let you go. Next time, you’re staying here with me forever.”

Thankfully, at this point, the streetcar arrived at the stop and she was able to get off. The mangicake dude also got off but kept looking back at the Creep – probably to make sure he didn’t get off and follow that girl.

My stop was the next stop, and seeing as how the Creep didn’t get off, I deliberately maneuvered such that there was always a person between us. I caught him looking for another target and I just did not feel like turning on my Monster Bitch mode. Not worth the effort. Thankfully, I was able to get off without being accosted.

Before anyone says anything about how we should feel flattered, there’s a big difference between being complimented and being leered at. These are NEVER interchangeable. Furthermore, not that it should EVER matter, but she was not dressed in an overtly provocative way that would make people say, “Well she asked for it.” And I’m wearing a white short-sleeve suit jacket with dark grey pants. AND I’m wearing running shoes…so it’s not like my outfit is screaming, “Look at me!! I’m so pretty!!” It just says, “I work in an office building.”

For all the decent men out there (like the mangicake), it’s scum like this Creep that make women more standoffish. Aside from the occasional attention whore, no woman likes this.

Since the Rapture went by and nothing happened, I feel it's ok for me to be hater today.  So, let's roll right into it.  It's in random order because it's just too hard to prioritize 50 items.

1. Rambling.  I really hate it when people ramble.  Just get to the point.  

2. Smoking.   Particularly cigarettes.  They smell awful.  They make everything smell awful.  And it's unsexy.  I don't smoke and I don't wanna be around people when they're smoking.  And in terms of dating, yes, it's a deal breaker.
3. People who don't clean up after their dog.  You give good dog owners like us a bad name.  Plus, you're dirtying the neighbourhood, you irresponsible jerk.
4. Those who talk a big talk but have no game.  If you don't know, just say so.  Making up a story or spewing bullshit just makes you look like a douche.  
5. Dried tangerine peel.  It goes beyond hate. I DESPISE it!  Yes, I'm Chinese.  I still hate it.
6. Micromanagers and control freaks.  That's why I love my job (yes, that's sarcasm).
7. Hypocrites. Everyone in their lives will have (or has) moments of hypocrisy.  That's not a big deal.  Sometimes circumstance forces us to be hypocritical.  It's the chronic hypocrites that I can't stand.
8. Sambuca.  Licorice.  Anise.  Yah... I hate it.
9. Drama.  Why can't people just say what they mean?  
10. Dolls.  Those things are freaking CREEPY!! I love plush toys.  I hate dolls.
11. Pepsi.  Obviously!
12. Bad drivers.  You don't signal.  You cut people off.  You're discourteous.  You can't make up your mind.  You drive too slow.  That's my definition of bad drivers.
13. Rudeness.  There are times when it's acceptable to be rude (because the other person deserved it) but in general, people these days are exceedingly more rude than they ever need to be.  It's disgusting.
14. Gum.  I never chew gum.  Ever.
15. Leaky boots.  Winter in the city often means cold, dirty, slushy water leaking into my boots.  It sucks.
16. Streetcars.  They're slow, unreliable, stuffy and make me nauseous.  
17. People who don't move back into the streetcar/bus/subway.  So damned discourteous!!
18. Bullseye BBQ sauce.  Yes, I hate it.  Love BBQ.   But that Bullseye BBQ sauce crap is garbage.
19. Ignorance.  If you want to express an opinion, go ahead.  It's a free country.  But if you want me to *listen* to your opinion, you'd better be informed.  Don't waste my time with your gawd-damned ignorance.
20. People who don't sort their recyclables/compostables from their garbage.  Do your part for the environment, you lazy ass!
21. Reality tv.  I am not entertained by watching the ridiculous boring lives of attention whores.  
22. Bad coffee.  There is no reason for bad coffee to exist.  NONE!! You're wasting beans making bad coffee.
23. The Boston Bruins.  They're a bunch of thugs who neither respect the sport of hockey nor understand the concept of losing with class.  The fact that their fans are ignant turds adds to this.
24. Waste.  I hate seeing things go to waste.  Hyper-consumerism is just terrible.
25. Aspartame.  I don't drink diet ANYTHING. 
26. Bad grammar.  It's worse than nails on blackboards.
27. Spandex.  The sheen is bad.  Fat men with chicken legs who insist on wearing it as they jog down my street are worse. 
28. Over-cooked meat.  If you can't respect the prime rib and give it to me medium rare, then just bring me a salad.
29. Dirty hair.  I can't stand it if my hair is dirty.  I also can't stand it if I can see people with dirty hair.  It's gross. WASH IT!!!
30. Orange & chocolate.  It's a combo I never understood.  I love oranges.  I love chocolate.  But together?  BLECH!
31. Dentists.  Just cuz (except for my friend TL's husband. JV is a good guy).
32. American football.  I don't get it.  I don't like it.  I've watched it several times.  I've played.  Just can't get into it.
33. Rioters.  Particular those that riot in Montreal.  You are not a real Habs fan.  You're just a drunken shit disturber taking advantage of a crowd.  
34. Stephen Harper.  This should not need any explanation.
35. Chaffing pants.  Of course, thinking of Stephen Harper makes me think of chaffing pants.  
36. Nosy people.  It's none of your gawd damned business.  Stop asking!!
37. Lack of compassion.  The world is not compassionate enough.  There are compassionate people, but as a population, people just don't give a shit about the plight of others.
38. People who don't wait their turn.  Especially in China, where the concept of lining up is deemed ridiculous.
39. Turkey.  I cook it at Thanksgiving and Christmas for my friends and family, but I don't eat it.  I roast a leg of lamb for me.
40. People who are cruel to animals.  All those people who have dragged their dogs behind their trucks, beaten their pets, organized or participated in dog fighting, tortured any animals, poached on endangered species...you should have your innards ripped out one at a time and fed to a pack of feral dogs...WHILE YOU WATCH! 
41. Trailer trash with designer bags/shoes.  WHAT THE HELL!?  Why are you not feeding your children with that money?  Why are you carrying a $3,000 Burberry bag and wearing $30 velour Wal-mart track suits?!
42. Bad parents.  If you don't have the means or desire to properly raise children to become respectable, contributing members of society, then don't friggin' spawn.
43. Arrogance.  You might be better than everyone else, but if you insist on making sure that everyone feels this, be sure I will knock you down several pegs and humiliate you constantly.  
44. Tim Horton's sandwiches.  They're disgusting.  All of them.  And ever since I experienced the phenomenon that is Corner Bakery, I have refused to eat sandwiches from Tim Horton's. 
45. Paper cuts.  I'd rather have a sprained wrist.
46. The destruction of music.  Yeah, I mean you, Britney Spears, Justin Beiber and Rebecca Black.  Mozart and Beethoven are so glad to be dead so that they don't have to listen to you!
47. Screaming children.  Parents, make them stop.  It's not cute.  And we're not all as sleep deprived as you that we don't notice.  If you bring your kids out amongst strangers, don't let them scream their lungs out.
48. Toyota Corollas and Honda Civics.
49. Bugs.  All bugs.  I hate bugs.
50. Horror movies.  There's enough scary shit in this world.  I don't need graphic images to scare the shit out of myself "for fun."

Seriously...guys...what they hell happened?  Emma looks so incredible...and well, you two...uhm... let's just say you look less incredible, ok?

I always said that I'm not allowed to have these.  But after several months of mocking @bucaneve (the way friends do) for her emo-ness, I guess it wouldn't kill me to 'fess up to my own.  In my defence though, my emo-ness only lasts for very short bursts.  Her emo-ness has stamina and lasts a lot longer.

You know... have a character building moment.

Conflicting Messages

I don't actively seek out character building moments with the intent of building character.  But they're pretty good at finding me.

Anyways...don't panic.  I didn't *do* anything that I'd regret.  Because being impulsive is not how I roll.

Now that I've shared, I can move on.

Ah, catharsis.

The question posted to some of the Habs was "If you could pick your own nickname what would it be?"

I thought their answers were pretty funny...but it would be so out of character for me to not give my own names for them.  (I've embedded the video at the end of the post).

 Oh...and if we need to discuss *my* nickname, you can always read about how I got it.

This is Part 3 of the 100 things about me series.  Part 1 and Part 2 were done earlier...also in sets of 33.  There will be a tweet (which I will also post as a pulse) coming to get up to 100.

It can sometimes be hard to come up with themes. But I do it anyways, because I like having a unifying concept. But 33 is such a difficult number to deal with, so I give you, 12 Astrological signs, 12 Lunar signs, the 7 deadly sins and two random facts.

12 Astrological Signs

Aries: Best sign of them all. Nuff said.

source:  http://www.freeastrologypoint.com/
wp-content/uploads/2010/09/aries.jpg

Taurus: One of my closest friends is a Taurus. When we were in university, I used to refer to him as my Will (meaning he was Will and I was Grace). He didn’t like that too much since he wasn’t (and still isn't) gay, but I never let that minor little detail stand in my way of referring to him as Will.    Don't worry, KP.  I stopped doing that.

source:  http://www.sodahead.com/entertainment/will-grace-or-friends/
question-180119/?link=ibaf&imgurl=http://justjared.buzznet.com
/images/2006/05/will-and-grace-series-finale.jpg&q=will%2B%2526%2Bgrace

Gemini: In high school, I told a friend of mine the biggest most heinous lie ever. I told her I had a twin sister. I even had a picture. It just happened that a girl who lived down the street and I bore a very striking resemblance. We even have a mole on the exact same spot on our faces. Our families went on outings together so I had pictures of us. That lie lasted 4 years. One day, my friend asked me about my “twin sister” and I just blurted out, “You really believed me? I just made it up.” Ah, teenage drama.

Cancer: I. Love. Crabs. Especially steamed crabs. Fisherman’s Wharf isn’t a big favourite of mine because tearing apart a crab at the habour always just seemed so dirty. But aside from that minor little detail, I love eating crabs. I think they’re even marginally better than lobster. But I’m an equal opportunity consumer of crustaceans. So it doesn’t matter.

Leo: My first little girl crush was on Leonardo DiCaprio. I saw him on Growing Pains and I was hooked. I still love Leo. And for all those who think he’s not aging well…I’m not listening to you.

source:  http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-9DDu7LYdJwU/TZjNuiLk5-I/
AAAAAAAAAeU/ejSdUIZnQ38/s1600/Leonardo%2BDicaprio
%2BTitanic%2B%25284%2529-770756.jpg

Virgo: The greatest misery of my life is being surrounded by Virgos. It’s not just random people who are Virgos. As luck would have it, my mom, my brother and three of my closest friends are Virgos. Lucky for me, Michael Bublé and I never hooked up. Otherwise I’d be married to a Virgo. But seriously…if you’re a Virgo, just stay the hell away from me. I mean it. Just GTFO.

Libra: There was a time I considered becoming a lawyer. Okay… my entire high school career. But at the last minute, when I was filling in my university application forms, I changed my mind. My independent study for my law class was on child pornography. I read so many cases of the atrocities committed against children that I was literally sick to my stomach for weeks. I know there are many facets to law and that becoming a lawyer would not mean prosecuting child pornography cases would be my life. But I could not stop thinking about them. For weeks, I couldn’t sleep because I could not believe that people could do such horrible things to children – sometimes their own children. I knew that if I became a lawyer, I would not be sitting in an office as general counsel for a large corporation. I’d probably be working on cases that would only fuel my disdain for humanity. So I opted for a profession where I would deal mostly with machines and computers, and less with people. I still have to deal with people, but most definitely less than if I had become a lawyer.

Scorpio: One of my favourite shows is Flashpoint. Yes, it’s a Canadian series. Yes, I know it’s cops (Strategic Response Unit to be specific…or SWAT for you American readers). And yes, it’s filmed right here in Toronto. And if you want to know why I’m talking about this show in reference to Scorpio, go watch the pilot from Season 1. Seriously… watch it. You’ll be hooked and you’ll thank me for it.

source:  http://www.tvprogramm.sf.tv/img/pool/c/2/
8/8/c28820a6-e02a-40f2-8827-4cb8fb91235e_detail.jpg

Sagittarius: I must’ve been a centaur in a past life. Me and horses…we’re so tight. Or maybe I’m like a Tolkien Elf. Whatever it is, I can calm anyone’s horse. I know… hard to believe, especially since I’m a city girl.

Capricorn: I still believe in Santa Claus.  I have my reasons.  And no one will ever take this away from me.  EVER!

source:  http://www.adpunch.org/images/
r_santa-claus-ad-coca-cola.jpg

Aquarius: I can’t swim. In fact, I’m semi aquaphobic. It doesn’t mean I don’t like baths or showers. But it does mean that I panic if I’m submerged in water and can’t just stand up to breathe. In 2002, when I went to Australia for six weeks, I went out to see the Great Barrier Reef. They had told me that not knowing how to swim was not an issue. They gave me so much floatation crap I looked like a clown car had exploded on me. But that didn’t matter. Neither did the snorkel. The second I was in the water, I started to panic. I didn’t trust the floating stuff even though I knew in my head I’d be fine. I suddenly had a white-knuckle grip on the boat and wouldn’t let go. I clamoured back into the boat and said I wouldn’t go back into the water. Several of the crew tried to coax me into it, but I refused. Finally, the Captain came over and said he would take me into the water because he didn’t want me to say I came ALL THE WAY FROM CANADA and the Great Barrier Reef is RIGHT THERE and I didn’t see it. To get them to leave me alone (so I wouldn’t start crying in front of a bunch of strangers) I said, “Fine! Just give me a minute to catch my breath.” I think they only gave me a minute. Anyways, this time I had NO floatation stuff, just flippers, goggles and the snorkel. The Captain was in the water with the lifesaver donut thing. He told me to just come into the water and hang onto the donut and he would pull me around. After a few minutes of asking me if I was ok, he told me to put my face into the water and blow some bubbles. Then he asked me if I opened my eyes. I said I couldn’t. He said I could. We went back and forth on this novel idea for a couple of rounds but he was ever so calming and patient – nothing like me. Finally, I relented. I put my face in the water, opened my eyes and saw the most beautiful, colourful, coral reef ever. When I came up for air, the Captain asked me, “So what’d you think?”

source:  http://maryt.files.wordpress.com/2008/01/great-barrier-reef-turtle.jpg%3Fw%3D640%26h%3D462

“It’s incredible.”

“So did you want to try the snorkel now?”

“Sure.”

And that’s how I spent the rest of my hour. He was pulling the lifesaver donut thingie, and I was snorkelling and looking at this awesome sight. I got to “swim” with George the sea turtle who lives in that bay and is more than used to tourists. And I also got to swim through a school of yellowtail damsels.  It tickled like heck and I had fish in places where there should never be fish – but thankfully, none of them got stuck. After all that, when we got back to shore and I said goodbye to the crew, *THAT* is when I noticed just how hawt the Captain was. Geez…why the heck didn’t I notice before?

source:  http://www.aquaticcommunity.com/Damselfish/YellowtailDamsel.jpg

Pisces: More about fish? Okay…my favourite cooked fish ever is Chilean sea bass. I stopped eating it when it was endangered. And although it’s now in healthier stocks, I still rarely eat it. It’s only a very special treat. I’ve never tried bluefin tuna before, but so long as it’s in such danger of becoming extinct, not only will I not eat it, I will also REFUSE to eat in any restaurant that serves it.  As for sashimi...I love me some ahi tuna and white tuna (but in very limited servings - like max, 3 pieces).

12 Lunar Signs (The Chinese Calendar)

Rat:  My Elfie is born in the year of the rat. My little bear dog is rat. Go figure.

Ox: I know there are some serious problems with industrial cattle farming. And although it’s very expensive, I try to buy beef (all meat actually) from a local farm that uses sustainable farming practices whenever I can. I also try to eat less beef, but I have to be honest…I really do love beef. My favourite cut is prime rib. The best smoked meat ever is Schwartz’s Deli. An all-beef hot dog is my guilty pleasure (meat by-products be damned). And when in France, I will have steak tartare. I will likely utterly fail to ever become a full-time vegetarian, but I do try to make responsible choices. And that’s all can ask of others.

Tiger: In my last year of university, I organized a fundraising even where I sold off portions of the wall in the cafeteria for people to paint. On the four panels I bought, I painted the face of tiger.

Rabbit: First mammal pet I ever had was a bunny. I named it (I don’t even know if it was a boy or a girl) Snowball. If you’ve never had a pet bunny, let me tell you, these cute furballs smell. But I love animals, so it didn’t bother me. My mom, on the other hand, was very bothered. So one cold, winter day, in her infinite wisdom, she took my bunny’s cage (with the bunny inside), put it outside on the north-facing back porch and wrapped the cage with a plastic garbage bag so that the bunny wouldn’t be cold. Safe to say, the next morning I no longer had a bunny and my parents wouldn’t let me say goodbye. I cried for days. My mom didn’t mean to kill the bunny…but you know…she just wasn’t that bright. Thankfully, she’s NEVER wrapped any other living creature in plastic again.

Dragon: If it wasn’t so stereotypical and triad-ish, I would TOTALLY get a dragon tattoo.

Snake: My brother is deathly afraid of snakes. And as the proper younger sister, I once took a bunch of rubber snakes and hid them in his bed. I won’t go into the details, but I was promptly punished the way Chinese kids with immigrant parents get punished, and grounded for a month.

Horse: I learned to ride a horse when I was on exchange in Nice, France.

Ram: One thing to be aware of if you ever find yourself camping in Oman…be well aware of the mountain goat. These goats are so ugly they’re kinda cute. And they’re TOTALLY UNAFRAID of people. My friends and I were camping on the edge of cliff in Oman in October 2009. After we ate dinner and dusk fell, we retreated to our tents for the night. It’s really too bad they didn’t get a picture, but about 5 minutes after I zipped up the door to my tent, these mountain goats DESCENDED like locusts and swarmed the outside of my tent. Okay…it wasn’t that bad. Maybe there were six or seven goats. And they were harmless, just making lots of noise and trying to get food. To get rid of them, I shone my flashlight at them and kicked them (firmly, but not a karate death kick) so that they’d go away. I think the “attack” lasted no more than 3 minutes and I laughed profusely about it for maybe 20. Like I said, they’re not scary, but just be aware that this might happen to you.

Monkey: Earlier this year, I saw that someone had left behind a plush monkey in the park near my house.  I figured that someone would come back for it so I left it on the park bench.  I had resolved that if no one came back to claim it that day, I'd take it home and put it in my tree.  Later that afternoon, I saw that the 4pm dog group had beaten the poor monkey to the brink of death.  So Elfie and I took the poor monkey home, patched him up, and gave him a new home in our tree.  Seriously...what hateful people!!!

Rooster: Only once in my life have I ever eaten capon.  Honestly, it really does just taste like chicken.

Dog: It’s kinda funny, but Shadow, my very first dog, was born in the year of the dog. No joke!

Pig: BACON!!!! Com’on…if you follow my tweets, you *so* saw that coming.

source:  http://www.baconshirts.com/images/iheartbacon_panty1.jpg
No, this is not my ass.  Nor are these my panties.

Seven Deadly Sins

Lust: Kissing and telling. I never do that. Ever. No matter how awesome of a story it would be.

source:  http://www.magnumperformance.biz/secrets/images/shhh.jpg

Gluttony: The all-you-can-eat buffet. My family used to own one.

source:  http://www.thesuperest.com/_img/_heroes/k132_buffet.jpg

Greed: I had a boyfriend who never appreciated the importance of money, and a deadbeat boyfriend who was completely obsessed with it. Is there no one in between?

Sloth:  I could NEVER ever be a sloth.  I can handle roughing it when we're camping and go without running water for a max of 4 days, but then I NEED a nice hot shower.  Doesn't have to be 5-star...but I need to be clean.  NEED!!

Wrath: Oh gawd, you have NO IDEA just how angry I can get. I’ve mellowed out in my old age, so I don’t get *that* angry often, but it’s been known to happen maybe once a year.

Envy:  I'm not usually jealous of much.  I might say I'm jealous that someone got Habs playoff tickets or has food that I want, but that's just in passing.  When it comes to real, mortal sin-worthy envy, there's nothing that anyone has that I could possible want *that* much.

Pride: My favourite book of all time is Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austen.

Random Facts

1.  I've participated in more than enough weddings to last me a lifetime.  No, I don't want to be in your wedding.  Yes, feel free to leave me off the guest list if you're space limited - cuz I will NOT be offended at all!  And no, I did not watch Will & Kate's wedding.  If don't even want to attend my friends' weddings, why the hell would I want to watch the royal wedding?  Like, really!

2.  Men in uniform just don't do it for me.  Not cops.  Not EMT.  Firemen - barely.  However... a fine red RCMP uniform...that'd be the only exception.

source:  http://famewatcher.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/paul-gross-canadian-mountie.jpg

Seriously.  What is that?  From what I can gather, fans are supposed to “demand” more from the management & coaching staff of their favourite team.  What!?!? 

Personally, I like to enjoy the sport for what it is.  I cheer for the team no matter who’s on it, leading it, or paying it; and hope for the best.  Unless we're talking about ice dancing...in which case, GO TESSA & SCOTT!!!  When we're looking at the Habs, I really don't care who is on the team.  That's not to say I don't have favourites, but would I love the team less if my favourites were traded?  No.  Habs would still be #1 in my heart.  So when people deign to scream that we should be trading Gomez for Stamkos or Iggy... I roll my eyes.  They are just…you know what?  I have no word for it.  You HONESTLY think that all Gauthier has to do is say, "I wanna trade Gomez.  Gimmie Iggy" and the Flames will be reaching for a pen? 

They're not perfect.  Of course they can be a better team.  If you think the GM job is easy, then why the hell aren't you doing it?  If you're so damned good at it, why didn't the Habs or ANY hockey team hire you?  And if were you acting as the GM for the Habs, guess how people would be calling for your head on a spike every time Carey lets in a softie or the team suffers an epic meltdown during ONE game?  Those people calling for your head...they're the people you call friends right now.

If people want to be an armchair coach/GM, they’re more than welcome.  And if they want to ignore the reality of conflicting priorities, cash flow restrictions, team chemistry and all the other insider info to which one is privy when they are PAID to do this every day, that's fine too.  But who the fuck are you to judge me?  I'm so sick the accusations of being a complacent fan just because I’m happy to cheer for the team the way they are. I didn’t realize I wasn’t passionate enough.  I didn't realize I had to hate everyone whenever we lost, find someone to blame, and tell my own team that they're not good enough.

The Habs did awesome. I think Game 3 almost killed us, and game 5 did kill us. We came back the best we could in Game 6 and were one bounce away in Game 7, but I believe if we took Game 3 more seriously, we’d be in round 2. Which is why I think the healthy version of this team can win us a cup just the way they are (with Patches, Josh, and Markov back in the line).  Of course people can dream/fantansize about how great the team would be if we had this player or that player.  I'm not trying to take anything away from anyone.  BUT stop telling me that I don't care enough or I'm not passionate enough.  Maybe I just don't want to waste my time on an activity that bears no fruit!  Gautier and Martin are NEVER going to be seeking my input on this matter.  So why the hell am I supposed to spend so much time on it?  You can if you want (you know fantasy pools exist for a reason, right?).  But that doesn't mean I have to in order to be considered a "true fan."

For the record:  I still believe Gomez just had a bad year (like several of our other boys) and will snap out of it next year. He might not be worth the $8M that we pay him, but he’s definitely better than what he was this year.

Disclaimer:  Perhaps I should mention that I was inspired to write this post as a result of commenting on shmitzysays' blog post So they lost big deal.  As it turns out, my comment also inspired him to write on this issue...so Losing and sucking much different is another good read, if you're inclined to delve in further.

Disclaimer to all those who are anti-Liberal:  I don't care for your partisan views. 
As a result of what you did, particularly to Ken Dryden, you made this personal.

Dear Mr. Ignatieff,

I’m sorry about what happened at the polls on May 2nd, 2011.

I’m sorry higher education was viewed as a disadvantage.

I’m sorry Canada doesn’t seem to want an intellectual leader.

I’m sorry you weren’t able to connect the people with the party.

I’m sorry the Liberal party couldn’t rise up to wrest control of the government away from a contemptuous, law-breaking, fear monger.

I’m sorry the people re-elected Bev Oda in spite of her lies and deceit.

I’m sorry that 39.6% of 61.4% of Canada, instead of voting for who they wanted, opted to vote against those they didn’t want.

I’m sorry that 39.6% of 61.4% of Canada didn’t think you were Canadian enough.

I'm sorry that 39.6% of 61.4% of Canada viewed worldly experience as a detriment.

I’m sorry that 38.6% of Canada didn’t bother to vote.

I’m sorry so much of the nation fell to fear mongering, spin and marketing.

I’m sorry (and heartily ashamed) that the most popular reasons Canadians have for disliking you are your level of education, time spent outside of Canada and physical appearance as portrayed in attack ads.

I don’t know if you are the right person to lead the country.  I feel that even if you are the right person, with the Liberal party in such disarray, the electorate wasn't going to accept you.  I don't think the time in which you’ve spend working to become the party leader and as party leader accurately reflect your ability. 

The first-past-the-post system failed.  The way votes are counted failed.  So many things failed.  Which is why voter apathy won; and marketing won.  In today’s hyper-consumerist society, this can’t be much of a shock.  I must also point out though, that I am not saying the Liberal party didn't fail.  It did.  But there's enough failure to go around.

I’m so very sorry, that it has come to this.  I admire that you are “big enough also to accept [your] historic responsibility for a historic defeat.”  However, I truly believe that some of the responsibility is ours.  The electorate did not educate themselves on the issues (though the parties failed to help in this matter as well).  The electorate allowed marketing to triumph over logic; unfounded personal prejudices to triumph over merit; schadenfreude over best-most qualified; apathy over engagement; ignorant over informed.  It hurts me in every fibre of my being that the combination of a broken party, in a broken electoral system, with a broken electorate have sentenced us to four years of a government that neither respects the citizens of this great nation, nor cares about the values of their people.

“In the United States, where I work, liberals are in the wilderness.  In Canada, liberals are in government. Down there, being a liberal is a burden. Up here, it is a badge of honour. No wonder I’m happy to be home.”

~ Michael Ignatieff, 2005 Liberal Party convention 

The day after the 2011 elections was the first time I ever felt like an unwelcomed guest in my own home.  I felt so betrayed.  I still feel betrayed.  I’m guessing, though, probably not more than you.

It is my hope that you don’t abandon the country in spite of this election.  Although I do not agree with you on all issues, I believe with you there is at least a dialogue where informed parties are able to work together.  There is an acceptance of viewpoints and a focus on a common goal – for the good of Canada.  I predict that we will be devoid of this for the next four years (though I hope I am wrong) and when the time comes, maybe that 38.6% of Canadians will see what they’ve let 24.3% of Canadians do to us.  I am quite relieved that you have opted to accept a teaching position at the University of Toronto and impart your experience and knowledge to the youth that will lead tomorrow.

And anyone that is continuing to bash you and those who believed in you, I'm sorry that they made this personal.

Sincerely,

~A heartbroken, liberal Canadian