You had years to try and do this right.
We were both young, innocent and stupid.
I was more patient, tolerant and forgiving of one’s failings.
We could’ve conquered the world on our puppy love.

But you were selfish.
Reckless.
You asked for more than I could give.

I gave up. Then I took you back.
You gave up. Then you took me back.
Wash-rinse-repeat a few more times for good measure.

Finally, we both gave up.
But we still hung out together like a couple.
We just said we weren’t.
We confused everyone – even ourselves.

And then I did the one thing you asked me not to do.

I cut you out of my life.

Years pass.
We grow up. Or rather, I grow up.
I move on.
I move up.
And I didn’t look back.

Until one day you called.

You tried to drag me back [emotionally].

You felt it important to remind me that we were once best friends.
That I’m still the person who knows you best.
Even better than your wife.
And for some reason, you fail to see that this is messed up.

The only feelings that I feel are nostalgia.
I hate the emotional blackmail you use to guilt me into seeing you.
I know what I gave up.
I know what we left behind.
And I am HAPPY that it’s over there and I’m over here.

But you feel the need to dredge it all up every couple of months.
We have to “catch up.”
I need to tell you about my exciting life.
Am I dating anyone?
Why don’t I want to talk about it?
You don’t want me to be alone.
You want me to be happy.

FOR FUCK’S SAKE, MAN!!
I WAS HAPPY BEFORE YOU PESTERED ME INTO HAVING DINNER WITH YOU.

I’m not a huge proponent of the bridge burning thing.
But at times, you drive me to consider.

My memories are happy ones.
I’ve found ways to gloss over or forget the bad ones.
How about we just keep those?
We don’t need new memories.
The old ones are sweet enough.

Don’t make me break this.
Please, just go quietly and let it fade to black.
That’s all I ask.
For the sake of what was.

For once in your life, think of someone other than yourself.
Just let me go.

Honestly, he has no idea who he's dealing with.  We are in an INFORMAL meeting when my cellphone vibrates very briefly indicating that I've received a text message.  I don't even look at the screen, I just flip it over so that it's facedown.

Him:  What would happen if I threw you phone against the wall?

Me:  I would hurt you.

Him:  That sounds like fun.

Me:  It's not that kind of hurt.

Him:  Oh...so maybe I shouldn't throw your phone.

Me:  I wouldn't recommend it.

You don't touch my stuff.  And if you touch my phone, you will regret it.

It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these. And you know, whenever thesecretlifeofpandas does one, so do I. Or at least I try to.

1. Would you ever have plastic surgery?
   You know…I think I’ll pass. I don’t mind aging, and honestly, when people have been asking if you’re 17-years old for almost as long as that, you start to think maybe a bit of aging wouldn't be so bad.

2. Describe to us what you wear when you sleep.
   Well the least you could do is buy me a drink first!
3. Can you roll your tongue?
   Yes.
4. Are you racist?
   Aiya!!! Of course! I’m Chinese. It kinda goes with the territory. I’m just not hateful in my racism.
5. What is the best way to begin a conversation with a member of the opposite sex?
   That depends…is he hot?
6. What was your easiest course in school?
   In elementary school and high school, it was math (uhm, HELLO!! I’m Chinese! ). When I got to university…it was…uhm…the course upon which I based my thesis. I don’t think it was the easiest per se. But because I enjoyed it, the challenging bits were fun. You didn’t *really* think I was going to tell you, did you?
7. What was the most difficult course for you?
   I don’t think I found any courses really difficult in elementary school and high school. In university…I’d say all my courses were pretty damned hard. Sometimes, I’m amazed I even passed.
8. What was your favorite course during school?
   Redundant question. Next!
9. If you could fly, how would you fly? (i.e. fairy dust, wings, cape etc.)
   I like Astroboy’s boot rockets, but those are pretty ugly boots. And we all know, I don’t do ugly boots. Wings are a little too girly and a cape is too…uhm…flaming? Oh…I got it…I wanna be able to hover…so let’s fly via cloud. Yeah…I like that. And when I need to fly fast, we have lightning shooting out of my cloud. Perfect!!
10. If your body odor was a food scent, what would that scent be?
    I hear bacon is pretty popular with the men (remember that time I spend my entire morning baking bacon chocolate chip cookies, and then got complimented on the bus for my “perfume”?). But I don’t actually want to smell like bacon. I wouldn’t mind smelling like fresh baked chocolate cake though.
11. How many pets have you had throughout your life?
    1 rabbit, 2 dogs, 5 turtles, and an unfathomable number of fish. I need a horse.
12. What do you do when you receive bad service at a restaurant?
    No tip.
13. When was the last time that you got dressed up in formal attire?
    How formal? Like gala wear? Probably my university grad ball. I’ve been a bridesmaid/maid of honour 4 times in the last 3 years…but I’d call that more of a forced uniform than “formal attire.”
14. When showering, what body part do you wash first?
    My face.
15. Why haven’t you made out with @godfatherofgreenbay yet?
    Who?!
16. Do you parallel park or drive around the block hoping extra spaces will open up?
    I am a master at parallel parking. I have no issues.
17. Have you ever been cow-tipping or snipe hunting?
    Are you kidding?!? Me?!?! NEVER! What kind of jackass tips a sleeping cow?!
18. Do you think of @godfatherofgreenbay before you fall asleep?
    Uhm…no.
     
19. Has anyone written a song or a piece of poetry about you?
    I like to pretend that people have written a song or piece of poetry about me. Does that count?
20. List any nicknames that you have been given.
    Geez…aside from cokeaddict…I dunno.
21. What is the weirdest thing you have done while driving?
    Nothing, really. Yeah…I’m boring.
22. How many drinks does it take for you to become drunk?
    There’s this very small window between achieving drunkenness and alcohol poisoning. I usually try and stop at my fifth 2-oz martini. Shots don’t count as drinks, right? Because I would’ve had a lot of those too before I got to my fifth martini.
23. Describe for us your most embarrassing situation.
    I have so many to choose from. How could I possibly pick just one?
24. List any phobias that you have.
    Ghosts
25. What is your go to name when you forget someone’s name? (i.e. bud, man, chief, etc.)
    I say nothing. I avoid the name thing at all costs. Mostly because I’m so absolutely terrible with names.
26. Do you whip your hair back and forth?
    I’ve been known to on occasion.
27. Describe the outfit you are currently wearing.
    Coral, jersey knit dress from Mexx. The skirt extends just below the knee, has wide straps, v-neck, and an asymmetrical ruche at the bust. I’m also wearing white snakeskin BMakowsky 3-inch stilettos, an onxy & diamond panther ring, my mother-of-pearl and diamond Burberry watch, and a steel cuff I bought at the One-of-a-Kind show many years back. And of course, my Stickman martini earrings.
28. List 4 celebrities with whom you would like to have carnal relations.
    Oh gawd…this one is too easy. And will have to be in no particular order. Orlando Bloom, Sergio Di Zio, Leonardo DiCaprio (yes, still), Christian Bale.
29. What is your beverage of choice?
    I *have* to answer with Coca-Cola. If we’re talking boozy drinks, give me a martini, caipirinha or mojito. But the mojito better have super fresh mint and lime…or I’m going to be very angry. And you don’t want to see me angry about my booze. And if we’re talking hot drinks, coffee, Mayan hot chocolate or Moroccan mint tea.
30. How many car accidents have you had? How many moving citations have you incurred?
    2 accidents. 2 speeding tickets.
31. What is your favourite scent?
    Cold spring rain, fresh baking bread/cookies/cake, honeysuckle
32. What is your Star Wars name? (first name=first 3 letters of your name and the first 2 letters of your middle name, last name= first 2 letters of your mother’s maiden name plus the first 3 letters of the name of the town where you were born, honorary title= reverse the last 3 letters of your last name add the make or model of your first car you owned or drove then write “of” and the name of the last medication you took)

    Dude…I’m Chinese. I don’t have enough letters in my last name or my mom’s last name to do this ridiculous activity…you racist bastard.

33. Would you ever want to date @godfatherofgreenbay?
    What is with all the questions related to @godfatherofgreenbay?! I’d have to say no, I’d never date him.
34. Please describe your body.
    It’s the only one I have, and I’m pretty satisfied with it. It ain’t perfect, but I can live with these flaws.
35. Why did you do this survey?
    Cuz @thesecretlifeofpandas did it.
36. Did you feel awkward answering these questions?
    Well, @thesecretlifeofpandas deleted half of them, and I skirted the ones I didn’t like, so no…not awkward.
37. Why do you love @godfatherofgreenbay?
    *sigh* Because I don’t know him.

So unexpectedly, on Friday evening, I got Spiked.  I know what you're thinking, and no... that's not it. I did not get hammered drinking stuff that was, unbeknownst to me, alcoholic.  But it was an evening of serendipity.

Friday evening, I met up with bucaneve and to attend the General Idea launch party at the AGO.  I think if I had known more about the General Idea movement I would've appreciated it more, but it was fun nonetheless.  We decided to go get some dinner since wine and chips just didn't seem like a proper dinner.   After some deliberation, we decided to head over to The Dumpling House in Chinatown.

As we walked along Dundas, we saw a film crew at the jade store.  We stood around for a bit hoping to see who the star was and some girls behind us said something about Colin Farrell being around.  Neither of us were too interested in seeing him, so we continued walking.  As we approached CIBC, just east of Spadina, we spotted two black SUVs, one with a giant crowd of girls at the window.  Looks like we found the celebs.

bucaneve said she was going to go to the bank machine, just as I exclaimed, "Ohmigawd! They're filming Flashpoint!” Flashpoint, for those of you who don’t know, is one of my favourite shows.  It’s got a bit of action, psychological analysis *and* it’s in Toronto.  It’s not just filmed in Toronto, but the show is actually set in Toronto.  So it’s not Toronto, posing as the streets of Chicago or New York.  Did I mention it’s a Canadian production?  Anyways…it’s very intelligent programming.  I just love it.

I walked closer to both cars, but not close enough to be in the throng of things and saw that Hugh Dillon (Eddie) was sitting in the passenger seat of the first car and Sergio Di Zio (Spike) was in the passenger seat of the second car.  And of course, the girls were around the second car.

As I walked by the second car, the crowd thinned out and Sergio looked right at me.  He smiled and waved back when I waved at him.  I thought I was going to melt into the ground…and not just because it was boiling hot outside.  This brief, fleeting moment was then ended as another crowd of girls rushed the car, so I walked up behind them and took a couple pictures of Sergio with my phone.  I saw that David Paetkau (Sam) was in the driver seat next to Sergio, but walking around to the driver side on already narrow and busy Dundas seemed like a stupid move – so I headed over to the first car.

I asked Hugh if I could get an autograph and he was incredibly friendly.  He asked me my name and said he loved it (my name isn't that common these days).  He was so nice!  He asked about my evening and asked me to tell him about the General Idea movement.  This is what I love about meeting Canadian actors.  So many of them are so normal and down to earth.  He talked to me like I was the only person in the world and that everything I said was important and mattered.  I’m not just some fan of the show, I’m a person.

After our brief chat, I saw that the crowd has dissipated around the second car.  Having sufficiently conversed with Hugh without having a Malcolm Gladwell moment (you remember -- that time I babbled like an insane fangirl when I met him?), I felt brave enough (and more importantly, composed enough) to go talk to Sergio.  Sergio plays the character Spike.  And Spike, is my absolute favourite character on the show.  When I first started watching I liked Sam because he's the pretty one.  But I’m not really into blonde guys.  And Spike’s techno-geekiness started to get to me.  He’s *SO* cute when he geeks out and gushes about robots, or his techie strategy for getting information or solving a problem.  And of course it helps that Sergio is quite good looking too (he's just not a pretty boy).

I very calmly walked over to the car and said hi.  He smiled that same warm smile from before and looked right at me as we spoke.  This is a big deal, like I mentioned earlier, because it means that he actually tries to connect with the people who appreciate his work, even if it’s only for a brief few minutes.  I asked for an autograph, but he said he couldn’t because they were being told to drive off.  But he quickly added that he would come back and give me an autograph if I waited.  Since bucaneve and I were going for dinner, I knew I wouldn’t be waiting, so I said, “It’s ok. I understand.  I just wanted to tell you that Spike is my favourite on the show.”  And that’s when he smiled very warmly, flashed his cute dimples, touched my arm and said, “Oh thank you, honey!”

He. Called. Me. Honey.

He. Touched. My. Arm.

OMG!

I. Was. So. SPIKED!!

I did not freak out.  I just smiled back, squeezed his arm and walked away.  I know that he likely didn’t think much of the moment other than the fact that a fan of the show said his character was her favourite, but for a short moment, he was smiling at *me*.  He looked right at me and smiled.  I know…I sound like a ridiculous 12-year old fangirl right now...but I swear I’m not.

I will admit there was a torrent of tweets following the incident about how much I love Spike and how sweet Sergio was, but I don’t think I’m being weird.  I was just very happy.  Even happier than when I met Michael Bublé…even though I got a kiss on the cheek from him.

I hope I see them filming again.  There have already been several episodes filmed around my workplace and my high school but I’ve never seen them.  When I saw the trailers behind my office at lunch time, I had thought to myself, “Wouldn’t it be awesome if they were filming Flashpoint here?” but I never once thought it might actually be them. I’m so glad I was wrong.

Anyways, that’s enough girly chatter for one weekend.  We now return to your regular scheduled blogging.

I had an interesting little email conversation with a friend yesterday.  It should really help men understand the inner workings of a woman's brain.  Or not...but still worth a giggle. 

SD: My coworkers said I should just post that calendar poster at my new place, either on the other side of or where the Flatiron is… Me: How about framed on your bedside table? SD: How about no. I actually have a framed pic of Ryan Phillippe… source: http://www.shockya.com/news/ wp-content/uploads/ ryan_phillippe_sunglasses.jpg

source: http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ kw0bu8UvbO1qa9tzfo1_400.jpg

Me: ROTFLMAO!!! Really? Mine was of Darren Hayes from Savage Garden…until he came out as gay. He’s still in the frame, but the frame isn’t on my bedside table anymore.

SD: Wait, it’s not on my bedside table. It just have it. Friend got it for me as x’mas present. Actually, I’m not really sure where it is…

Me: Lol!! Lies.

SD: No it’s true. I don’t really have a bedside table. I got a bedside ledge, but only got enough space for a lamp and the alarm clock.

Also…Darren Hayes?? Really? Tho still not as surprising as Zack Morris. I actually preferred the guitarist (Daniel Jones).

source: http://music.9msn.com.au/img/slideshow/breakups/savagegarden.jpg

Me : It’s ok…I’m very over Darren. I love a good voice. That’s probably my third. Piano – Violin – Voice. But even then… a great singer is very distant behind violinist. I don’t think I have a third. That said…I do love Michael [Bublé]. Get over the Zack. *I’m* over the Zack. SD: Lol. If you’re adding voice, it might be voice, piano, guitar then violin for me. Me: I dunno…guitar is just… I mean… I like it…but I don’t fall madly in love with it...not even if it’s Ben Harper-esque. I would always choose Daniel Powter and his piano prowess over him. Serious? Voice is number one for you? Really? British accent might be…but singing voice is still third in my book. SD: I’m very specific with voice though. I get chills, literally, with the ones I like. It’s a tough choice between guitar and violin, because I react to them differently. One is more warm fuzzy feeling, and the other’s more awe. It’s like bacon vs oysters.

source: http://t3.gstatic.com/images? q=tbn:ANd9GcTa0jrYFwKgd8KVNaF b0RvF0RwD5y36oN4bzLoYJ9Gzdd4N1CgR

Me: Bacon & oysters?!!? LOL!! I’m guessing the violin is the oysters?

source: http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-- bczgFMR0KM/TaTbPJHBBGI/ AAAAAAAAAA0/75o5NRDc8Hk/ s1600/Candy+Bacon.jpg

source: http://www.backroadstouring.co.uk/ newsletter_oysters.jpg?&width=450&scale=0

SD: Hey, if it gets the point across, it’s a good analogy. That actually makes “Bacon” a very suitable name for dogs – warm and fuzzy.

Yes, violin is oysters. It’s higher end stuff. Unless the bacon in question is pancetta, and the oyster is malpaque…but that’s just complicating things.

I wanted to wait until after the funeral to post this.  I didn't want to detract from this very sad event to rant about the idiocy of those who comment on online news articles.

My heart goes out to the family and community that lost an exceptional young man/friend/brother/father/husband/colleague.  He deserved better than this.

May he rest in peace.

* * *

All I keep reading are excuses.  In response to the tragic death of Garrett Styles, I see excuses.  I’m not talking about the police force. I’m talking about parents.

If you haven’t already heard, the short version is a traffic cop pulled over a mini-van around 5am for speeding at ~145 km/h (90 mph).  Inside, were a bunch of joyriding teens.  The driver is 15-years old (under the legal driving age) and had stolen his dad’s mini-van.  After being pulled over and having some dialogue, the police officer reached into the car in attempt to remove the keys from the ignition.  The teen then accelerated, dragged the police officer approximately 300m (~980 feet) and lost control of the vehicle, which then flipped over on top the police officer.  Styles was pinned under the vehicle from the waist down. He radioed for help, all the while expressing concern for the teens in the vehicle, and then died in the hospital.

Fatally wounded Ontario police officer pleads for help from beneath minivan

Like many others, when I heard the news, I was horrified.  And yes, in addition to blaming that heartless and stupid child, I blamed the parents.  I still blame the parents.  And I am heartily sick of reading all these comments that are just excuses.

You can’t control teenagers.
Do you know how hard it is to raise a child?
If the teenager was brave enough to steal his father’s car, what could the father do?

How about this? These parents had 15 years to raise this child properly. The only out that the parents would get is if this 15-year old has some sort of mental illness. Otherwise, I’m sorry. There’s absolutely no excuse anyone could possible give that would cause me to absolve the parents of any responsibility whatsoever. I’m not saying it’s 100% the parents’ fault, but they’re also not faultless.

Garrett Styles was 32 years old. He was going to turn 33 on Sunday, July 3rd. His son is 9-weeks old. His daughter is 2 years old. He did not die while fighting in a war, defending his country. He did not die in an attempt to save a child from a burning building. He did not even die of cancer. He died a completely avoidable and senseless death because of irresponsible parents and a reckless teenager. And all I see from commenters on the news articles is how it’s not the parents’ fault.

I’m sick and tired of hearing people making excuses for poor parenting. There is no excuse for not raising one’s child properly to become a respectable member of society. No one ever said it was easy. But the fact that it’s not easy doesn’t mean that it’s okay for parents to fail and not take any accountability for it.

I was not the easiest of children to raise. I’m not perfect. But dammit, at NO POINT during my teenaged-angst-filled years would I have dragged a police officer with ANY car – let alone stolen my parent’s car. I wouldn’t even have mouthed off to a police officer. I’m not the biggest fan of cops, but I definitely had the fear of God in me when it came to the police. Maybe it’s because I’ve got a high moral compass. Maybe it’s because uniforms intimidate me. Maybe it’s because I understand that the police have a bit of authority. Regardless, I’m pretty sure part of it is due to the way my parents raised me. Know right from wrong, and the police are here to help.

I’m a child of immigrants. My mother spoke neither English nor French while we were living in Montreal. The need for French disappeared when my family moved to Toronto, but she still didn’t speak English. My family was very poor and my parents worked incredibly long hours just to make ends meet. I can go on and on about all the things my friends and classmates had that I didn’t have, but the only point I want to make is, despite not having 24-7 dedicated, full-time parenting, my brother and I both turned out ok. My parents, despite all the challenges they had to overcome, still managed to teach my brother and I the difference between right and wrong.

But this isn’t about comparing to me. I have nothing to do with this situation, being acquainted with neither the teen nor the officer. This is about the senselessness of the entire situation.

The other excuse I just love (yes, there was a contemptuous eye-roll in there) is the one about how the cop should not have reached in the car to try and get the keys. You know what? They’re right. He shouldn’t have done that. BUT…getting dragged 300m and then dying while pinned under a car is supposed to be the “acceptable” consequence for such a mistake? Really? REALLY!?!? “But you never know what might happen.” Right, but he didn’t reach into the vehicle of thugs or drug dealers or even a scary trucker. It was a 15-year old kid behind the wheel.

WHAT KIND OF SOCIETY DO WE LIVE IN THAT WE’RE SUPPOSED TO BE AFRAID OF GETTING KILLED BY A 15-YEAR OLD KID?!!?!?

I hate that this tragedy has spawned a rant. And being that the accused is a minor, there’s no information released about his so my view is incredibly one-sided. Perhaps there is another side to this story. And I reserve that for the trial, judge and jury.

Since there are no laws against bad parenting, his parents will not be held accountable for their failures. Since he is a minor (I highly doubt he will be tried as an adult), if convicted, he’ll probably be out in less than 10 years. Maybe he would’ve learned his lesson by then. For everyone who says, “But he’s not a murderer. There was no intent,” maybe you’re right. But he failed to have any regard for life of another, the authority of a police officer and the law. If it wasn’t a police officer who was killed…if it was a pregnant mom, on her way to work…if it was a 4-year boy on his way to school…if it was your best friend, your husband, your wife, your child… what would you call it then?

I’m don’t care for any of the excuses being thrown around.

As far as I’m concerned:

• He stole a car.
• He’s unlicenced AND under the legal driving age.
• He was speeding 40% faster than the legal speed limit.
• He endangered his friends.
• He endangered the lives of anyone else who might have been on that road.
• He disregarded the authority of a law enforcement officer.
• He dragged a police officer 300 m. (Maybe he was scared and not thinking, but what other possible outcome besides injury and/or death could there be?)
• His actions killed the police officer.

This teenager isn’t Paul Bernardo, but he’s also not innocent. Garrett Styles perhaps should not have reached for the keys to the car, but that does not transfer any of the responsibility of the outcome to him. It’s not Garrett Styles’ fault that he died. In fact, this 15-year old’s parents are more responsible for the outcome than Styles. Ultimately, the responsibility lies with the teenager. In spite of all the errors he made that morning, he could have been forgiven. That is, up until he pressed the gas pedal. At that exact point, he became the sole person responsible for ending a life. And there are no reasons or excuses that anyone can offer that would absolve him of that.

That’s the comment I saw on one of the online news articles about Vancouver.  And I’m not even talking about the hockey game.

Every time this happens in Montreal, my heart dies a little.  Every time I hear that a bunch of stupid ass people started a riot because the Habs won, lost, didn’t win by enough, whatever, I get so angry.  Why the fuck would you do that?  This is our city… OURS!

What happened last night was disgusting.  Not because it was Montreal.  It wasn’t Montreal.  It was disgusting because it was Vancouver – Canada’s most beautiful city. 

Beautiful Vancouver

Don’t get me wrong, Montreal is my hometown and Toronto is my current home, and both cities are beautiful…but Vancouver is…it’s a dream.  At least it was until last night – when it became a nightmare.

When the riots were going on during G20 in Toronto, I was so angry.  I could not believe it was happening. 

G20 in Toronto - 2010

And so soon after the glorious Olympics in Vancouver, and all the criticism we receive in Toronto for our “whining”…HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN!?!  If that made no logical sense, maybe it’s because I’m so irate!  Have these people really NO RESPECT AT ALL for these beautiful cities?!  REALLY?!? REALLY?!?!

The outcome of the game no longer matter.  I’m not a Canucks fan, but I was cheering for them because I hate the Bruins so much.  But to read that this riot started because someone burned a plush bear (which in itself is a travesty) is heart breaking because losing to the Bruins is not worth it - not worth destroying Vancouver...or ANY city for that matter!

June 15, 2011 - Downtown Vancouver

FOR FUCK’S SAKE, PEOPLE! IT’S ONLY A HOCKEY GAME!!!

Why could these people not just go home and trash their houses?  It’s the same thing.  All that public infrastructure they destroyed and damaged…belongs to all of us (or all the residents of Vancouver).  The number I’ve seen thrown around so far is about $1M of damage.  It’s more than 1,000x that in terms of reputation.  Every single ounce of good publicity won by a successful hosting of the Winter Olympics – ripped to shreds, thrown on the ground and burned.  Nice.  Excellent.

For all the problems/challenges Vancouver faces on a day to day basis, THIS is not something they needed.  And horrible drunkards did this because of a hockey game.

To those who ravaged the city

• Vancouver is our crown jewel – you just trashed and burned OUR CROWN JEWEL!!

• That’s CANADA’S reputation you shat on – that reputation of us being peaceful and nice.
• It’s CANADA’S GAME you disgraced – hockey…yes…hockey; I saw comments saying that hockey should be banned, that it’s stupid, that it’s…doesn’t fucking matter.  You mess with the national sport, you should rot in hell.
• I’m in shock and disbelief that *anyone* at all could possibly think that anything that happened last night could even remotely be justified, acceptable, tolerated, or lauded.
• On the practical side, you wasted tax dollars by burning and trashing public infrastructure… tax dollars that have already been spent.  AND if that wasn’t enough, you’ve also burned future tax dollars to clean up this mess and replace what was broken.  You really think VanCity has that sort of money to waste?  Wouldn’t you rather the city paid for other services or collected less tax?  Neither of those are options now.
• Clearly you don’t care how other people feel, but let’s say for 2 seconds you do care.  HOW DO YOU THINK THE CANUCKS FEEL RIGHT NOW?!  As if it’s not bad enough that they lost in Game 7 of the Stanley Cup finals after starting the series up 2 games to none…as if it’s not bad enough that they got blown out 4-0…YOU FUCKING BURNED AND TRASHED THE CITY BECAUSE THEY LOST A GAME!!!!
• Did I mention that it was just a game, yet?
• You were burning stuff that shouldn’t be burned. The environment has enough problems without you adding to it.  But then again, you obviously just don't care.
• With Mother Nature in an uproar and destroying cities around the world with floods, earthquakes, tsunamis, hurricanes, tornados (etc...), did you *really* have to do this to yourself?!  Seriously?!?  A riot?!  HOW STUPID IS THAT!!!!

Fukushima, Japan

I feel a physical pain in my heart right now and I didn’t even have that much vested to begin with.  I’m not from Vancouver.  I’ve never lived in Vancouver (though I have visited).  And I’m not a Canucks fan (I neither hate nor love them).  But I care a great deal about right and wrong.  I care a great deal about taking care of the world, our environment, our cities and our people.  If I personify Vancouver as a child, last night, she was brutal raped and beaten by the people who are supposed to take care of her.  If I could, I would wrap her up in a blanket and tell her that it will be okay.  And if I could, I would exile all those who participated in this travesty because they don’t deserve to live in the beautiful city of Vancouver.  They don’t even deserve the privilege of visiting.

I hope that all these people get arrested.  I know that Vancouver will recover.  And I hope that Canada’s reputation can be repaired. 

And for the parents of these delinquents…I hope you’re satisfied with your failure.  You spawned that cretin.  And they just spoiled something special.  Not only do I blame the individuals, I ALSO blame their parents.  Don’t say it’s not your fault.  It might not be 100% your fault, but that’s your genetic waste out there…take some fucking accountability.  If my kid did that, I’d haul their sorry ass to jail myself – after a good solid backhand slap.

Yes, this is a whiner post.  What can I say?  Even I am entitled to whine once in a while.  But don't fret.  My whining is still fairly light-hearted.  It's all sports related.  Specifically...hockey.

1. VanCity
   Yes...I heard.  And yes, I heard that it was bad.  I know Luongo mouthed off about TummyTom.  And that probably was pretty stupid.  But seriously...to compare him to Lebron James is just dumb.  No matter how idiotic you think Luo was...he did NOT do what Lebron did.  Perspective, k?

   And now the Canucks are headed for game 7.  I notice how every time the Canucks lose everyone's so quick to throw Luo under the bus.  But this isn't the epic fail of having lost 11 out of 12 games in a row *cough* Leafs *cough*.  The team is friggin' in the Stanley Cup finals.  You think the team got here IN SPITE of him?  Team Canada won gold in men's hockey at the Olympics last year...with Luo in net.  Did we win *that* in spite of him too?  Goalies get the worst of it.  And maybe he's not all that and a bag of chips.  But to say that he's a horrible goalie just makes you look bitter.  I'd like to be the worst goalie ever in the Stanely Cup finals (he did win two 7-game series there) with an Olympic Gold medal in my trophy case.  Say whatever you want about me!  Why the hell would I care?

   That said, I expect Wednesday to yield some results.  You hear me, Luo?  LUUUUOOOOOOO!!!!

   For the record, I'm not changing teams.  I'm still a die-hard Habs fan.  That's permanent.

   So for everyone out there who just NEEDS to bitch about Luo...get a grip, sit down and STFU!!

2. Toronto Ribfest
   A couple weeks ago, I tweeted that Michael Cammalleri, the Habs' beloved sniper, would be signing authographs at Toronto Ribfest.  That's what it said on the website.  Today, by fluke, I went on the site to see if they had any updated details...and lo-and-behold, Cammy has been swapped out for Kadri.  Ugh!!! I've now completely lost my appetite for ribs. 

   WHY?!?!?!?!  I'm so depressed.  And of course, I only find out this *after* Roz mailed me a hockey card to get autographed for her nephew.  Of course.

3. The Office
   As I do twice a month, I review the layout for my company's employee newspaper.  I'm on the editorial board representing my business unit so this is part of my job.  As I was reviewing the four-page spread for next week's release, what do I see on page 4... A BRUINS JERSEY.  I take a better look at the photo and who's offending mug do I see??

   ...

   ...

   ...

   ...

   Zdeno Chara

   Of course.  OF FRICKING COURSE!!!!  Who ELSE would be in the company newspaper?!  The article name-dropped Jeremy Roenick and Alexander Ovechkin, but who's picture was included?!  Chara's!  Of course!!  And not even with a helmet on to buffer my eyes!!

   You know, Kessel was at the All-Star game (which is where the photo was taken).  And he's a Leafs (in case you forgot, I live and work in Toronto).  WHY THE F DIDN'T THEY JUST TAKE THIS GAWD FORSAKEN PHOTO WITH KESSEL?!?!?  Don't get me wrong.  I'm not a Leafs fan.  But seeing as our head office is in Toronto, it would've just made more sense to have a photo with Kessel....or how about PK Subban?  He's FROM Toronto!  Whatever.  I can't do anything about it now.  And it's a "feel good" employee story so it's not like I can get it killed (even though the writing is cheesy as hell...they won't let me kill it).

So...what can I say?  It's been one of those days.  I'm gonna pack up for the day now (it's quittin' time) and hope that nothing else hockey related implodes on me. 

Pierre, if you're reading this...today is NOT the day to be announcing heart-attack inducing trades, ok?  I just can't handle any more.  And yes, it's all about me!

GO HABS GO!!

Yes, it's true. Even *I* get intimidated sometimes.  I'm just better at hiding it when it's work related.

Last Friday, I had a complete freak out moment.  Earlier in the week, I had signed up to attend an industry networking luncheon.  I signed up because the topic looked very interesting…plus it was a free corporate lunch at the Royal York Hotel – so why not, right?  I didn’t think much of it until Friday afternoon when I saw with whom I’d be sharing a table.  Then I felt nauseous.  At this table of 8, I was the only person who was not a VP, Senior VP, or Executive VP.  In fact, I’m not even a manager.  I’m a Senior Analyst.  And I don’t exactly work for a small firm so it’s not like we’re one close-knit family.  I work for a corporation with over 10,000 employees.  So here is a table of big guns and little ole me.  It gets better.  Everyone at the table is a white, baby-boomer male, with ~20 years of experience each in the industry.  I am a young, Asian girl who regularly gets mistaken for being under 25 (sometimes under 20).

Yes.  I panicked.

I panicked a lot.

So…after calling several people, freaking out, collecting advice, and being reassured that I’d be fine, I tried not think about it – because even in the worst-case scenario, I couldn’t be fired.  So, nothing to lose right?  Other than possibly humiliating myself, nothing that would cause lasting damage could really happen.

Some of the advice I got was quite ridiculous.  Here’s a sampling.

• Go study about the guest speaker.  Talk about him.  uhm…no.  That’s dumb.
• These execs just want other people to take control.  Tell dirty jokes.  That sounds incredibly wrong.  I’m not that kind of girl.  And it’s an alcohol free event.  I won’t be nearly brave enough for that sort of shit.
• Just don’t go.  Call in sick.  Break your leg.  I wouldn’t go.  I’m intimidated enough that I want to barf, but I’m not going to bail.
• Sports.  Talking sports is always good.  This I did.  Showed off my hockey and golf prowess.  Woo hoo!  Bonus points for me.
• Study the annual report.  Be sure you can talk knowledgeably about the company’s financials and operations.  Uhm…knowing the annual report is sort of my job. I don’t need to study.

You get the idea.

This morning, I woke up at 5am (my usual time is 7am).  After I walked my dog, I came home and started the “serious” beauty regime.  I heated up my flat iron and straightened my hair (I rarely do that in the morning).  I did my makeup…a notch or two up from Carmindy’s 5-minute face.  And then, I had to pick a suit.  First one was too young.  Second one was too trendy.  Third one was two girly.  Fourth one was sufficient – fashion forward, but professional, and mature.  When I got to work however, I swapped out my fashion forward purple crop jacket for a stoic black-with-white-pinstripe jacket…the jacket that matches my pants.  And I dialled back on the shoes and went with the 2-inch Cole Haan heels instead of any of the 3-inch shoes in my collection.  I can say that I “looked” the part and fit in with the old-boys suit club.  Yes, today, I looked like an executive.  And looking the part definitely made it a little less intimidating – even though, I must admit, I’m not a huge fan of this look.

Networking was okay.  A few people came up to talk to me (which was good).  And eventually I saw some people I knew so I latched onto them.  That was likely my only act of desperation all day.  I even talked to a board member from one of our sister companies…that went ok.  And then I talked to another executive from that sister company and we really hit it off.  Being well travelled helps.  We talked about our experiences in the Emirates, Oman and how it affects our perspective of recent news coming from those regions.  We talked about travel in general.  You know…world travel is easily one of my favourite topics.  But I digress.  The networking part, painful as it was, could not last long enough.  Eventually, the time came for us to sit at our tables.

As it turned out, two of the executives sent delegates so it made the table slightly less intimidating.  But more importantly, I didn’t look nervous (even though there were times when I thought I was going to barf on my shoes – or some VP’s shoes).  And thankfully, I’m knowledgeable enough on the topics of global economics, the EU, foreign affairs, travel in Scotland and Ireland, the industry, and up and coming technology.  Oh yes…and did I mention golf?  Yes, there was a lot of golf talk – particularly in relation to Scotland and Ireland.  In my hour before the talk, I managed (most of the time) to exhibit professionalism, experience and maturity.  But more importantly, I made a good impression by showing that I was knowledgeable and intelligent.  Yay!!  Score for me.  Maybe it would’ve been better if those two executives actually showed up and didn’t send delegates.  No matter.

It’s not every day that this sort of thing happens.  I apparently benefited from this increased visibility/exposure.  So, given the opportunity, would I do this again?  Definitely.  Would I recommend others do it?  Yes…though maybe try to arrive with someone you know.  Showing up by myself did result in me having a bit of a slower start.

Months I've lamented over this.  MONTHS!  I even did a paper on it for my Decision Making class.  And I've finally started putting the wheels into motion.

If the stars align and all goes according to plan, on June 20th, I will be the proud new owner of a Samsung Galaxy S Captivate which I should get for free.  I will have to add a $30/mth data plan to my phone and pay $40 activation fee ($35+tax) but I walk away with a "free" phone.  After a month of data, my plan is to cancel the data plan and pay the $100 early cancellation fee.  That means I would have effectively paid $186.45 for this phone and 1 month of data instead of $620 for the phone.  In my world, that's still a good deal.

source: http://cdn3.digitaltrends.com/wp-content/
uploads/2010/08/samsung-captivate.jpg

In case you forgot (or just didn't know), I currently have an iPhone 2G.  Yes...the very first generation of iPhone.  I got it when it was only available in the US.  My friends unlocked a bunch of phones and we were running around town.  In my case, around the world -- with an unlocked iPhone using whatever SIM card I wanted.  When in Dubai, I use my du SIM...in Europe I use Virgin Mobile...and in good ole America, I'm on AT&T -- all of these are pay-as-you-go services.  Screw Rogers and their gawd forsaken roaming charges.

My iPhone has been a very reliable and trusty companion these past 3.5 years (yes, we've been friends that long).  But it's on it's last legs.  There's something rattling inside whenever I shake it.  It's started crashing...not a lot...but noticeably more than before.  And it's all scuffed up to the point where I don't even bother with a case anymore.  Oh...and the growing row of dead pixels at the top and bottom of the screen is a pretty strong indicator of it's impending doom.  Did I mention the nasty key gash near the bottom of the screen?  Oh yeah...and the menu button doesn't always respond as well as it should.  Need I go on?

source: http://www.ilikemyiphone.com/wp-content/uploads/6_20_07_iphone_dock_1.jpg

So why, might you ask, am I switching to Android?  Well...to be honest, the main reason was price.  I just don't want to pay >$200 for a phone.  I know the iPhone interface is far superior to all the other smartphones on the market, but I just don't watch that much video on my phone.  And from an applications perspective, although the slick resolution is a nice to have, it certainly is not mandatory.  For comparison purposes, let's look at the iPhone 4 - 16 GB Black.  This, with all available promos would cost me $123.18 for the handset on top of the $186.45 for data, activation, and early cancellation of data.  That's a total of $310.

source: http://iphonehelp.in/content/uploads/2011/05/iphone4_2.jpg

The iPhone 4, however, is lacking in a few things that I feel are a must have.  It's failure in meeting these criteria make the price even harder to justify.

First, it doesn't take the regular SIM card.  It only takes microSIM.  This alone was the deal breaker.  I wouldn't be able to put my international SIM cards in here.  I know people say you can cut your SIM for use as a microSIM, but I wasn't about to do that.  One false move and I'll be buying a new SIM card.

Second, unlocking.  The iPhone is locked to the Rogers network.  Do you know what a pain in the ass it is to unlock?  If I could put my foreign SIMs into it, I would go to the trouble of unlocking & jailbreaking it.  But with the Android phone, the unlock codes are already ON the handheld...so I don't need to go to any trouble at all.  It's easy peasy to unlock.

Third, Apple is continuing in their pissing match with Adobe.  So...iPhone 4 is not compatible with Flash.  Quite frankly, Flash is prevelant enough on the Internet that I expect to be able to view it on my phone.  If Apple's not going to make that happen, then I'm going to go with a product that can.  And yes, this is also why I'm not in the market for an iPad.

Lots of people have given me the speech about how it'll be so hard to get used to an Android phone since I'm so accustomed to my iPhone but I've always been pretty tech savvy so I should be ok.  Besides, with the additional $123.18 I'd have to spend for the iPhone 4 (or more realistically $248, because I'd likely buy the 32 GB) I could have myself a nice dinner and premium bottle of wine at North 44 - more than once.

And if I'm really suffering from Apple withdrawl...well... I'm trading in my old iPod Video 60 GB for a 10% discount off an iPod Touch (because what else am I doing to do with my dead iPod?).